Stop Stressing Out About Everything!
Sometimes it feels like you can't possibly finish everything you HAVE to get done between now and a certain deadline.
So you stress out about it.
But that is a waste of your emotional energy, and when you waste emotional energy you are draining the very energy that you NEED to get all of that done.
When I'm tearing around the house shouting "Aaaa! I'm so STRESSED OUT!"
My husband says "Well, stop stressing out then!"
We all know it's not that simple, but over time I learned that it WAS something that I could control, to a certain degree.
- Recognize that stressing out is a waste of your energy
- Write down everything you need to do before the deadline. Remember: NEED to do - not probably should do.
- Prioritize. Be ruthless!
- Work from the top of the list down.
There's no use stressing out over what you need to do. Just calm down and do it.
Two quick tips for introverts
I wrote this article on introverts and extraverts recently.
When I first wrote the draft I started writing tips, but I soon realized it was out of balance. I had lots of tips for introverts, but I wasn't confident writing tips for extraverts because, um, I'm not one. It's difficult for me to truly understand the other side, so if you're an extravert I encourage you to share your thoughts in the comments!
I am a terminal introvert, the kind that freaks out when they have to talk to some one face-to-face and craves time alone in a cave.
These tips come from direct experience.
1) "Faking it" is very effective!
The people you know are key to your success, so even if it's uncomfortable you have to learn to go out and talk to people you've never met. The best strategy I've found to do this is... just pretend you're an extravert!
Of course it's not as easy as it sounds- I do have to psych myself up for a few days beforehand, and then spend a few days afterward charging my 'introvert batteries'... but when I go to an event I just approach every situation, every conversation as I think an extravert would. I've actually gotten good enough at it to fool some people, but I can only keep it up for a day or two. After that I get very cranky :[
2) Remember to Recharge
When I feel really drained, I try to spend as much time as possible alone. Avoid meetings. Bury my nose in a book.
It can be tough when you're on the go, but sometimes even an hour in a quiet cafe can help your batteries recharge. My few most-treasured friends also have the effect of charging my batteries instead of draining them! Seek out your BFFs.
So, let me know! What are some of your personal tricks for dealing with life as an introvert or extravert?
Snowed Under?
Flow.
When everything seems to be falling down, it's easy to visualize fire. Frantic energy. Emergency.
This makes it really difficult to concentrate and make good decisions.
Even after you've prioritized your task list, you'll still have a TON of stuff to do. Yes. It's okay.
Visualize yourself flowing calmly from one task to another. Visit one, focus, finish, put it away. Flow to to the next task.
Remember to be EXTRA nice to everyone.
It's tempting to stab people (or glare them to death), but that will just damage your relationships for years to come. Instead, before every single interaction, take a moment to breathe. Before picking up the phone, breathe. Before opening up a reply email, breathe.
Try to breathe and listen when people are coming to talk to you. Pause before you speak. Praise people when they are getting things done. THANK them profusely for helping you, or for being patient.
It's extra difficult, but your effort will pay off in spades. Spreading kindness actually makes YOU feel better, and with persistent effort and help, your list will start to melt.
You can do it!
5 Ways to Fight the Blahs
We all fall prey to 'the blahs' sometimes. You know how it is:
You're not sick, you're wide awake (usually the middle of the afternoon), but you're bored and unable to get motivated to do much of ANYTHING. There's things that you should do, could do, might do, but you can't even get into procrastinating. You're not necessarily sad or depressed, just... uninspired.
When you're suffering from the blahs, it's easy to get sucked into passive timetraps like TV. You know you should get up. You know you should finish that thing or work on something or call so-and-so back... right after one more episode of Lost.
The blahs are one of the enemies between you and your goals. Here are five ways to fight:
1) Shut down your time traps.
Turn off the TV. Close distractions on your computer. Better yet: step away from the computer altogether for awhile. The first step to getting out is to make the choice to NOT get sucked into something. Even if you're just staring at a wall, that's better than being amused to death.
2) Get a pen and paper.
Put the pen on the paper. Move the pen. It doesn't matter whether you're writing or drawing or just making random marks. Making your hands move is the first step to getting your thoughts flowing. As thoughts flow, energy flows, and soon you will be moving again. (writing not your thing? As an alternative you can bounce a ball against a wall...not recommended for <800sqft apartments)
3) Go outside and explore. (ON FOOT)
Often I find that the blahs are a result of cabin fever. Find an excuse and a destination - it can be anywhere as long as it's farther than to the corner coffee shop and back. Stretch your eyes (focus on things at a distance), take the time to look and examine your surroundings. Investigate shops you've never taken the time to enter before. Take a bus somewhere random (the same bus will always be able to take you back).
Find somewhere new. It's stimulating, and a sure cure for the blahs... as long as you can get yourself motivated enough to get out the door!
4) Go see a friend, or just give them a call.
Is it too cold or rainy to get motivated to go outside? Seek stimulation from other people - just NOT on the internet!! The computer is a timetrap. If you can't get through, call a parent or grandparent. Trust me - they ALWAYS want to talk.
5) Don't fight it.
Sometimes the blahs are a sign of creative burnout. If you're an introvert, you may just need some alone time. Instead of forcing yourself back to the grindstone, take some time to creatively recharge. Get inspired - read or re-read an interesting book, lay back and listen to an audiobook or your favourite album.
Sometimes we just need a BREAK.
If you choose option 5, think of it as a sick day for your brain. You're proactively electing to lose one day to the blahs instead of a week to lackluster creativity. If you're in day 2 or 3 of the blahs, get off your butt and try some of those earlier tips!!
The blahs are no fun, get inspired and go kick some ass!
20 Networking DON’Ts
You know the old adage about "it's not what you know, it's who you know"?
It's true.
The missing second half of the adage is that you actually have to WORK to get to know more people, and find the right people for your goals.
There are lots of books about how you SHOULD build a network, but I feel like I still haven't mastered the art (and it is an art). However, I cannot underscore the importance of networking enough, so I wanted to summarize what I've learned so far. The best I can come up with is a list of networking DON'Ts. A lot of this list feels like "how to be popular"... but at the end of the day, regrettably, that's what life is. Talent and experience are only part of the equation. If you can't navigate social circles and build a powerful network, you will falter. The good news is that it's MUCH more fun than high school, because you'll be building a network of talented, brilliant and interesting people (not just jocks and cheerleaders 
)
1. Don't be lame and ditch out of social events.
GO to dinner, GO out for drinks (even if you don't drink). It seems frivolous, but it is in these social settings that true bonds are formed.
2. DON'T be a person other people don't want to be around
- Be positive about yourself and your situation. People can only pity you for so long, at the end of the day the Negative Nancies and Debbie Downers stop getting invited to the parties.
- Be outgoing, as much as you can be (and it CAN be learned!)
- Be funny, if you can, or at least be nice
3. Don't trash talk people, whether they're around you or not.
Word travels, and even if the person that you're with doesn't spread what you've said, they will be wondering what you are saying about THEM when they're not around.
4. Don't gossip.
Loose lips sink ships, and if you're known as a gossip no one will tell you anything truly valuable. It's okay to listen politely, but don't contribute, dig for details, or spread rumours. It can only get you into trouble.
5. Don't make assumptions about people you've never met.
Approach with an open mind and form your own conclusions. It's important to be aware of how others are perceived within a community, but you might be surprised. People CAN change and grow. You might find a valuable ally who was overlooked by the others in your network.
6. Don't assume you are the best in a group and don't have anything to learn.
There is ALWAYS something to learn from ANYONE. LISTEN. You can find expertise and insipration in the most amazing places.
7. Don't be flaky or unreliable.
If you say you're going to be somewhere at sometime, BE THERE. Keep your promises.
8. Don't lie.
If you're trying to join a community, you will be outed eventually. It's tough to live down.
9. Don't be rude (to anyone - especially service sector folk), and don't be a bigot
These traits stick to your reputation like glue.
10. Don't be unstable - flying off the handle at every bump or offhand remark
If people feel like they have to walk on eggshells around you, they will be wary to be open with you or will avoid you entirely. Those with thick skin get told the truth, learn faster and are better for it.
11. Don't bring drama
Check your baggage at the door. Even if the drama relates to the community, it's better to stay out of it.
12. DON'T get completely shitfaced and force others to look after you.
Drinking is fine, especially if you need one or two to help you overcome social anxiety, but KNOW YOUR LIMIT and stay well under it.
13. Don't constantly beg OTHERS to get completely shitfaced, etc.
If they are not into it, they aren't into it. Just leave it be. A quiet evening is far more enlightening than an acid trip.
14. Don't party crash.
It will take time for you to get invited to the right places, shoe-horning yourself in is going to hurt you more than help you.
15. Don't bring a whole entourage to "THE parties"
or, don't spread the word about a party if you weren't supposed to.
You can control your own behavior, but not the behavior of others. In the end, being the one who "let them in" is just as bad as being the bad actor. If you managed to get invited, make sure that the invitation is extended to the others you want to bring, or you won't find yourself invited again. If YOU are part of the "entourage" getting into a party, make a good impression. Don't make anyone regret it.
16. Don't "fangirl/fanboy out" to people.
You may tell them calmly that you like their work or convey your respect and admiration, but try not to get star-struck. The big players are still just people. Related: don't ask for or expect ridiculous favours/name-drops from someone you've met once or twice. Those in higher positions worked very hard to get there. Be humble and respect that. They owe you nothing.
17. Don't be a cheapass.
People will understand if you're on a budget, but if you show up to a party with no booze and drink everyone else's, or start stuffing your bag with the free food, they will remember you and NOT in a good way.
18. Don't sell yourself in casual networking situations.
There are times to sell and there are times not to. If someone asks for your card, give it to them, but don't launch into an elevator pitch upon introduction. It's good to let people know how you fit into the greater context of a network (are you a creator? A supporting businessperson? A friend in an adjacent field?) but don't jam it down their throat.
19. Don't steer the conversation towards being "about you" at every oppportunity.
DO open up and share yourself, but it should be an equal exchange.
20. Don't form a clique.
Some friends will be closer than others, but mix it up. You don't want your whole network to depend on a small handful of relationships.
At the end of the day, remember: networking is about making friends, and you can't fake that. Be a good friend- a genuine, good friend -and good things will follow.
The List Binder (part 1 of 3)
Never Let Anything Slip Through the Cracks Again!
Do you ever get the feeling that there's something important that you're NOT doing? There's something... ARGH- it was right on the tip of your brain!
Isn't it infuriating to have a spare moment to think and you KNOW you could be maximizing it to its full potential if you JUST. KNEW. WHAT. TO. DO!
Then the moment passes, and you find something else to occupy the time.
Weeks later you're reminded of a project you were assigned to and - DRAT, the deadline is coming up and now you're snowed under with tasks!
At work and in my life I have a LOT going on. A lot of different projects and responsibilities, all with different tasks, different priority levels, different timelines, different consequences and rewards. It's a lot to keep on top of, and I certainly couldn't do it on my own.
Recently I started using a system I've nicknamed the "One Note Binder" (because I designed it when I was frustrated that I couldn't use Microsoft OneNote at work) or the "List Binder". I thought I'd share my process with you all...
Conquer Email – 1 of 2
Things are getting kind of busy around here with some upcoming conventions, my apologies for missing last Friday's post! To compensate, this week I'll update twice, with this two part series on Email managment. These are my own personal email management strategies.
Part 1: Getting out of the mess you're already in
Seven OTHER Reasons to Get Healthy
WHY GET HEALTHY?
Okay okay, so we all know that being healthy is better than being unhealthy. There are lots of differing opinions on what exactly 'healthy' is, and there's disagreement on the best ways to get there. But hopefully we can agree: health is good. Health is important.
And yet, when it comes down to it-- getting to the gym (ah-GAIN), putting down that donut, quitting that destructive habit... we stall. We cave into the short-term benefit and lose out on the long-term goal.
Sometimes it seems that the "because being healthy is good for you" is not quite enough to make ourselves commit to enduring something mildly unpleasant. So I'd like to share with you some of my OTHER reasons to get healthy. It's silly, but these superficial reasons are sometimes much more motivating!
Your Secret Weapon Against Procrastination: a Count-Up Timer
Some people might say that using a timer is taking the term "Time Management" a bit too literally, but I've found my simple count-up timer to be an invaluable asset. Here's what you need, and five different ways you can use it to get a productivity boost.
Build an Inspiration Board in 6 Steps!
I very much want this blog to be about practicing what I preach. I've often come across, and even mentioned in passing, the concept of an "inspiration board".
If you are a visual learner, the inspiration board is the best way to put together a picture of what you want your life to be like.
I like the concept a lot, and awhile ago I started to collect pictures of what I wanted to put onto my board, but I hadn't yet got off my butt and gotten it DONE.
WELL NOT ANYMORE, I am pleased to report that I am now the proud owner of my very own inspiration board! I thought I would share with you all my personal process, and my collage tips for those of you who might be less experienced in the crafty side of things.