How to Fight Off Depression
Depression.
It's a delicate topic for me. I know I suffer from it and I have for a long time. Probably always will. Compared to some, I have it easy, so it feels callous to say that something as complex as depression can be 'fought off'.
Everybody gets sad, of course. Bad things happen to us, or the people we love. Usually we can shake off sadness within an hour or two, when the trigger is no longer there.
Depression, unlike sadness, may not have a specific trigger. There might not be an answer to "why are you depressed?"... you just are. It can last for days and weeks (or months in severe cases), but its severity is a spectrum. Those with mild cases of depression can still get to work and are not a constant teary mess, but they can't shake the feelings of sadness, lethargy, difficulty concentrating and performing at their usual level.
It is the mild, infrequent type of depression that I am speaking about in this post. Mild to moderate depression shouldn't be treated with medication, because the benefits outweigh the risks. So even though you have been diagnosed with depression, and it is affecting you negatively, you're on your own. YOU need to fight it off.
** the tips below are not a substitute for professional treatment **
If your depression is more severe (or persistent), get to a clinic and talk to a doctor.
1) Know what your depression looks like and acknowledge that it's there.
It's not your fault. Just accept that you are depressed. I liken mine to a kind of fog that wraps my head and an inability to find motivation, or joy in much of anything.
2) Decide you are going to fight it off.
It may seem simple, but these two first steps are usually the most important to fighting depression off. I don't like to admit that I'm depressed, and that keeps me from deciding to fight it off. Once I make the decision, things get better.
3) Let people know you are having problems
...and it might take you a bit longer to make good on your commitments.
You've made the decision to fight, and part of the fight might be taking it easy. A mind fighting off depression is a bit more delicate than it usually would be, and if you're able: just raise the red flag to people. I usually try to hide it from my colleagues unless it's a very severe case (and you should look into a company therapist or confidential referral program), but family, friends and other personal commitments deserve the heads up. Not only do they deserve to know, they can help you.
4) Detox.
Try to avoid chemicals that mess with your brain: caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, sugar and chocolate. I know, I know, when you can't get up in the morning and all you want to do is drown your sorrows, this doesn't seem like a good plan, but you'll recover faster.
5) Clean your environment.
Clutter affects us on the inside, and the repetitive, light motion is a good way to get yourself moving. Focus on cleaning one area at the time, and forgive yourself if it doesn't go as quickly as usual.
6) Go for a walk.
If possible, sit in the sunshine. I'm not sure what it is, but just walking aimlessly at a leisurely pace always seems to help. When it's raining, I just walk through the mall. It's not ideal, but at least it's not wet.
7) Look sharp.
Clean up, put on a skirt/tie. Once you improve the picture you see in the mirror, your internal, self-image improves a bit, too.
8 ) Do something fun, just for fun.
All work and no play make you something something. Rediscover the joy in your hobbies, or just fun in general. Don't worry about whether or not the work applies to your goals, or what else you might be doing. Find anything that can make you smile.
9) Get back on your diet and exercise regime, as soon as you are able.
If possible, don't go OFF your diet and exercise regime. On my most depressed days, I manage to drag myself down to the gym, but can't quite push myself to work up a sweat. I do what I can, but sometimes I just need to sit in the dressing room in the dark for awhile.
10) Gently, gently ease back into your routine and get things done.
Just going through the motions can help. Just like your diet and exercise routines, ANY progress you can make while still in a rough state is good progress. You don't need to be a superhero, just a regular human surviving the day.
11) Keep at it.
Remember that you're still delicate, but celebrate small victories and try to make every day better than the last until you're back to normal.
Again, depression is serious, and it strikes without warning or reason. If you can't fight it off with these steps within a few days, it's okay to ask for professional help.
5 Ways to Fight the Blahs
We all fall prey to 'the blahs' sometimes. You know how it is:
You're not sick, you're wide awake (usually the middle of the afternoon), but you're bored and unable to get motivated to do much of ANYTHING. There's things that you should do, could do, might do, but you can't even get into procrastinating. You're not necessarily sad or depressed, just... uninspired.
When you're suffering from the blahs, it's easy to get sucked into passive timetraps like TV. You know you should get up. You know you should finish that thing or work on something or call so-and-so back... right after one more episode of Lost.
The blahs are one of the enemies between you and your goals. Here are five ways to fight:
1) Shut down your time traps.
Turn off the TV. Close distractions on your computer. Better yet: step away from the computer altogether for awhile. The first step to getting out is to make the choice to NOT get sucked into something. Even if you're just staring at a wall, that's better than being amused to death.
2) Get a pen and paper.
Put the pen on the paper. Move the pen. It doesn't matter whether you're writing or drawing or just making random marks. Making your hands move is the first step to getting your thoughts flowing. As thoughts flow, energy flows, and soon you will be moving again. (writing not your thing? As an alternative you can bounce a ball against a wall...not recommended for <800sqft apartments)
3) Go outside and explore. (ON FOOT)
Often I find that the blahs are a result of cabin fever. Find an excuse and a destination - it can be anywhere as long as it's farther than to the corner coffee shop and back. Stretch your eyes (focus on things at a distance), take the time to look and examine your surroundings. Investigate shops you've never taken the time to enter before. Take a bus somewhere random (the same bus will always be able to take you back).
Find somewhere new. It's stimulating, and a sure cure for the blahs... as long as you can get yourself motivated enough to get out the door!
4) Go see a friend, or just give them a call.
Is it too cold or rainy to get motivated to go outside? Seek stimulation from other people - just NOT on the internet!! The computer is a timetrap. If you can't get through, call a parent or grandparent. Trust me - they ALWAYS want to talk.
5) Don't fight it.
Sometimes the blahs are a sign of creative burnout. If you're an introvert, you may just need some alone time. Instead of forcing yourself back to the grindstone, take some time to creatively recharge. Get inspired - read or re-read an interesting book, lay back and listen to an audiobook or your favourite album.
Sometimes we just need a BREAK.
If you choose option 5, think of it as a sick day for your brain. You're proactively electing to lose one day to the blahs instead of a week to lackluster creativity. If you're in day 2 or 3 of the blahs, get off your butt and try some of those earlier tips!!
The blahs are no fun, get inspired and go kick some ass!
What do you NEED?
Have you ever felt guilty for being sad, even though you have so much?
Ever wonder why money never seems to be enough, even though, compared to many others in the world, you are wealthy? Have you tried to motivate yourself with some material reward, but you didn't end up getting anywhere? Why not?
There are many things that our bodies need.
The lizard brain (amygdala) deep inside us drives us to find food, safety, shelter and sex. When we need these things it is VERY hard to ignore. ("You won't like me when I'm HUNGRY!")
It feels selfish to be sad when these base needs are satisfied. We are so lucky just to be safe and fed.
But the mind itself also has needs.
- Companionship.
- Self-Worth.
- Challenge.
Needs don't exist in isolation, they exist in a HIERARCHY.
Hierarchy of Needs
Physiological > Safety > Social > Esteem > Self-Actualization
BASE NEEDS
Your CORE needs. If these needs are not met, nothing else really maters
- Phisiological Needs: Hunger, Thirst, Shelter, Sex
- Safety Needs: Security, Protection from physical and emotional harm
INTERMEDIATE NEEDS
Humans, for better or worse, are social creatures. Our mind craves human interaction, and if our social needs aren't met, it leads to deep feelings of unhappiness. It's an archetype we're all familiar with: the miserable millionaire without any true friends.
- Social Needs: Affection, belongingness, acceptance, friendship
HIGH LEVEL NEEDS
Even the luckiest people - those with wealth, family and wonderful friends, can start to feel unsatisfied. At this point, you start to spend a lot of time worrying about your 'purpose', lamenting wasted talents and missed opportunities. High level needs drive us to better ourselves, they are why we get such a charge out of learning something new, or achieving something that, on a fundamental level, may not matter (as in, it isn't directly keeping us alive and safe).
- Esteem Needs: Self-respect, autonomy, achievement, status, recognition
- Self-Actualization Needs: Growth, achieving one's potential, self-fulfillment
These needs do not necessarily go in order. More than one need may be working to motivate you at the same time.
The point is this: Unsatisfied needs motivate. Satisfied needs don't motivate.
This is why you don't feel satisfied, even when compared to so many others you are so, so lucky. I mean, you're sitting here in the 21st century reading my words on the internet! You're not out working in a field. You have electricity! You might be lucky enough to be loved, to have dear friends and a great family.
When all of these needs are wholly satisfied, you start searching for more.
What is my purpose in life?
Am I achieving my full potential?
I wish I could be recognized for my talents.
So what should you do?
- Take stock of what you have and be grateful- you really are lucky!
- Don't feel guilty for wanting more. You can't change your brain!
- Look at the needs that may not be fulfilled: a sense of belonging, self-respect, fulfilment. Are one of those intrinsic needs unfulfilled for you? Maybe that's where you need to look next to seek happiness.
- Set, review or adjust your goals: If you already have enough money to survive, but all of your goals are financial, this may be why you're not motivated to meet them, or why you still feel unhappy when you ARE meeting your goals. Reframe your goals in terms of what you really may need: make new friends, improve yourself, gain a new skill.
DOING is IMPROVING
The more you do something, the better you will get at it.
The better you get at it, the more people will ask you to do it, or pay you to do it.
The more people pay you to do it, the more time you will have to spend doing it.
EXAMINE WHAT CURRENTLY OCCUPIES YOUR TIME AND ASK YOURSELF: IS THIS REALLY WHAT I WANT TO GET BETTER AT DOING?
Do you want to get better at forwarding joke emails? Driving in traffic? Data entry? Answering customer phone calls? Spreadsheets? Meetings? Cleaning?
It's a subtle thing, but it's the way we get roped into going places we really don't want to be, and it's an extension of the mantra "Work To Learn (not to earn)". Once you've learned enough to get by, ask yourself if you really want to get any better at it.
If you don't want to get any better... STOP.
Find a way out: hire someone else, find someone who likes to do it more than you do and trade skills, find a way to cancel or switch activities that make you do those things, or simply avoid those tasks.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO GET BETTER AT?
Find a way to spend more time doing THAT.
Haters will hate
When haters show up, it's easy to see it as a failure.. but it's not. It's an indication you're going in the right direction. You have to challenge the status quo to break through, and that has a natural tendency to scare people.
It can be tempting to defend yourself, or give snarky responses, but it's important to reinforce the positive and let negativity-for-the-sake-of-negativity slide off your back. After a day or two, no one will remember the negative comment. They WILL remember your reaction to it. Flame wars have a tendency to stick in people's memory.
Remember:
- People see their failures reflected in your successes.
- People who need to attack someone else to feel better about themselves have a lot of sadness in their lives.
- They are wasting their emotional energy. Don't let them waste yours.
If you consistently put positivity into the world, you will attract more positivity than negativity. In any population great enough, the negatives will show up. It's a statistical inevitability. Keep working. Keep doing. Keep achieving.
If this is how they choose to react to you, it's their loss.
The List Binder (part 1 of 3)
Never Let Anything Slip Through the Cracks Again!
Do you ever get the feeling that there's something important that you're NOT doing? There's something... ARGH- it was right on the tip of your brain!
Isn't it infuriating to have a spare moment to think and you KNOW you could be maximizing it to its full potential if you JUST. KNEW. WHAT. TO. DO!
Then the moment passes, and you find something else to occupy the time.
Weeks later you're reminded of a project you were assigned to and - DRAT, the deadline is coming up and now you're snowed under with tasks!
At work and in my life I have a LOT going on. A lot of different projects and responsibilities, all with different tasks, different priority levels, different timelines, different consequences and rewards. It's a lot to keep on top of, and I certainly couldn't do it on my own.
Recently I started using a system I've nicknamed the "One Note Binder" (because I designed it when I was frustrated that I couldn't use Microsoft OneNote at work) or the "List Binder". I thought I'd share my process with you all...
Enjoy Today
This has been my personal mantra lately. The end goal is happiness... but why wait?
You have to do your best to enjoy every single day, to enjoy the journey itself. Otherwise, the miserable weeks, months and years you spent trying to achieve your goals may not have been worth it.
So ENJOY TODAY.
Do your best to:
- use the hours productively towards your most important goals
- have as much fun as possible while you're doing it
- be calm and nice to people
- remember what matters and let go of what doesn't
Don't beat yourself up for not being a superhero. Don't let things that you can't control make you angry or sad. Relish in happy moments and seize opportunities to have fun.
As long as you're doing your best, as long as you're alive, you have a responsibility to your mind to be as happy as you possibly can be.
We only get one shot at today. Make the most of it.
Seven OTHER Reasons to Get Healthy
WHY GET HEALTHY?
Okay okay, so we all know that being healthy is better than being unhealthy. There are lots of differing opinions on what exactly 'healthy' is, and there's disagreement on the best ways to get there. But hopefully we can agree: health is good. Health is important.
And yet, when it comes down to it-- getting to the gym (ah-GAIN), putting down that donut, quitting that destructive habit... we stall. We cave into the short-term benefit and lose out on the long-term goal.
Sometimes it seems that the "because being healthy is good for you" is not quite enough to make ourselves commit to enduring something mildly unpleasant. So I'd like to share with you some of my OTHER reasons to get healthy. It's silly, but these superficial reasons are sometimes much more motivating!
Build an Inspiration Board in 6 Steps!
I very much want this blog to be about practicing what I preach. I've often come across, and even mentioned in passing, the concept of an "inspiration board".
If you are a visual learner, the inspiration board is the best way to put together a picture of what you want your life to be like.
I like the concept a lot, and awhile ago I started to collect pictures of what I wanted to put onto my board, but I hadn't yet got off my butt and gotten it DONE.
WELL NOT ANYMORE, I am pleased to report that I am now the proud owner of my very own inspiration board! I thought I would share with you all my personal process, and my collage tips for those of you who might be less experienced in the crafty side of things.
Short Term Goals: Conflicting vs. Reinforcing
More than once when I've hit a brick wall on my goals, I've realized that I'd set myself up for failure. My goals were in complete conflict, and were unrealistic.
When setting short term (priority) goals, you must keep in mind that there is only one of you, and only so many hours in the day. If one goal is to compose a concerto, and the other is to create a christmas album, and they both need to be completed in the same amount of time-- you might run into trouble. Chances are you have only so many hours in the day that allow you to focus on your music - and you're forcing yourself to split that time between two goals! Making progress on your concerto means you've neglected working on your Christmas album.