How to Cope with Boring Work
The problem with a lot of jobs is that they are boring. It's okay, say it with me: the job is boring. Admit it. As they say: "that's why they pay you to do it."
Ideally we'd all have stimulating work that just pushes our specific joy buttons all day long, and that's what you should be striving TOWARDS, but today you gotta just fill out that expense report.
Boooooooooooooriiiiiiiiiiiing
You gotta get it done, somehow, and get yourself through the day or you won't have ANY job, boring or otherwise. How can you get yourself through this?
Reframe it: "Boring" = "Easy"
I'm not going to tell you to "trick yourself into thinking it's FUN 
" because I've tried that and it doesn't usually work. What does work, sometimes, is reframing the situation. The work isn't boring, it's easy (and often this is true). You procrastinate because you know that finishing the work holds little intrinsic satisfaction.
If you're lucky enough to be able to enjoy music at work, tell yourself that you're NOT filing out this boring expense report, you're ENJOYING MUSIC. The expense report is just there to keep your fingers busy. It's easy.
Fill out this form? EASY.
Call Accounting? EASY.
Force yourself to smile and enjoy other things about your day, and your mood will lift. The work will sink to the background.
Set up a Carrot
Boring work is usually easy and it's also, usually, kind of pointless. You're just doing it because it's a thing that people at your company do. It's not really accomplishing anything.
You need to set up an external carrot, such as ten guilt-free minutes of web time. Time spent talking with your coworkers. A snack break.
Set the bar a bit lower than your normally would. If you can't focus for your regular hour, focus for 20 mintues. 5 minutes. Just this one thing. Whatever it takes to keep you moving forward.
Make it a contest
Set up a count-up timer and see how FAST you can do it - the faster you can not-have-to-do-it-anymore!
Who are you helping?
Ask yourself: who am I helping by doing this boring work?
Whose life am I making easier? Is your boss going to be able to do a better job if the reports are properly filed? Will the admin have an easier time meeting her deadlines if she has the proper form filled out in time? Will these letters get to their destinations faster and more efficiently once they are sorted - connecting a happy sender to a happy recipient?
Try to imagine the exact person you are helping. If you don't know them, just invent them in your mind. Imagine their smiling face when they see the results of your completed task.
Even if they don't usually recognize or appreciate it, imagine that they will and focus as that as you chunk away at the task.
Okay, good luck and have a happy rainy Friday 
How To Optimize your Home
If a quick look at the homewares store is any indication, it would seem that "decluttering" is a New Year's resolution for a LOT of people. Even though I quit resolutions, I've definitely got decluttering on the brain!
WHY BOTHER?
Feng Shui is the Chinese art of organizing the objects and furniture in your physical surroundings to optimize the flow of chi. It seems like superstition, or hocus pocus, but if you study it you'll see it's really mostly psychology. (It's "bad fung shui" to have broken mirros, dead flowers, piles of clutter and furniture in your way!)
Think about this:
When you walk in the door, it makes an annoying screeching noise because it's not oiled properly. You trip over the scrunched-up carpet and then bang your knee on the table, because it's at an odd angle. Because your couch is the first thing in your path as you enter the space, you inevitably flop down on it after work and get sucked into a few hours of television. You can never find what you're looking for, which leads you to give up on whatever it is you were doing. Then, after a long and trying night, that leaky faucet can make you really go ballistic.
The point is: clutter, disrepair, and a poorly laid out living or working space DOES affect our mental state. It affects our motivation and our speed of productivity... and isn't that what mind management is all about?
I don't hold delusions of a minimalist existence, but I came back from Thailand with the very sober realization that I. have. too. much. God. Damned. Stuff!!! Since I've moved so many times, it's not a complete disaster, but things aren't as organized as they could be.
The PROJECT
I'm tackling rooms one at a time, start to finish. I'm focusing ALL my effort on one room until it's done, and then the lovely rooms will motivate me to keep going fixing the ugly ones. (Like a visible progress bar!) For this project, I'm starting with the EASIEST rooms first - in my case these are the bathrooms, because they're teeny tiny and almost done anyway. (Quick wins!)
Each room will go through the following actions:
FIX - If it's broken... FIX IT or REPLACE IT! Fixed objects don't make us happy, necessarily, but broken ones make us SO ANNOYED! Replace burnt out lightbulbs, repair busted appliances, or improve a layout that's always pissed you off.
DECLUTTER - my "stretch goal" in this regard is to downsize by 50%. Tackle each cupboard, each shelf, each little collection of stuff one group at a time. Just one drawer per night if that's what it takes. Take everything out of that small section, and try to get rid of HALF of it.
Pick up items one by one and ask yourself: "When is the last time I used this? Do I really need this? Does this even work (or has it expired, in the case of medication or makeup)?" Then decide: Keep it, trash it, donate it.
ORGANIZE
If you have lots of useful small things - like hair elastics - that are constantly being found all over the house - build a PLACE for them and collect them all together. You know you'll use it if only you could FIND it when you need it!
Buy storage boxes and group things together by purpose - for example I used to keep my swim suit in with my socks, but instead I made a box that collects everything for "swimming" together - my different swimsuits, my goggles and other specialty "beach" things like snorkels. Same for camping and other specialty gear for sports! That way when I decide to "go swimming" everything's already collected.
UPGRADE
Last on the list is figuring out which things are overdue for an upgrade. I just upgraded the hideous shower curtain we inherited in the move and bought a few towels that match the decor. Be careful - nice homewares are ridiculously exensive and it's easy to go overboard. It's a total drag spending your pocket money on something lame like a shower curtain (seriously, I spent all my pocket money for THE MONTH on these few bathroom things!!) but if you HAVE the money right now it's better spent on nice things you will use every day, rather than MORE CLUTTER STUFF!!
I'm compiling a list of things I want to upgrade (sorted by the type of store I would buy it at) and going after them only when I have the pockey money to do so. If what you have now works, there's no rush to fix it. The upgrading process will probably take the longest of everything - hopefully long after everything is organized and decluttered! - but if I get it all over with I won't have to worry anymore. (For awhile, at least)
At the end of everything I'm going to have a place where everything is fixed! The drawers aren't overflowing with stuff! And I can actually use some of the wonderful things that I shelled out to own! Here's hoping!
I hope you'll excuse this horribly domestic post 
Manufacture a moment of peace
This post assumes the following: that you are having a really really hard finding a simple moment of peace. Obviously it would be ideal if you could just shut everything down and run into a forest, but not all of us have that kind of freedom.
ALL YOU NEED IS FIVE MINUTES
1) Go outside. ALONE
Actually outside, not just out of your office. Get some sky overhead.
I don't care what the weather is.
2) Shut down all tech.
Put away your phone.
Step away from computer.
Don't accept calls (or read texts) for FIVE MINUTES. Just five minutes!
Shut off your music.
Un P L U G.
3) Relax your body.
Sit on a bench- or, if it's not gross, lie down on the grass
Let go of everything you are clutching - just put it down beside you on the bench. Free your fingers.
Let your hands fall empty by your side.
Relax your shoulders.
Unclench your teeth.
Put your hand on your heart, you want to slow down your heart rate and this helps you concentrate on that.
Close your eyes and slow down your breathing. In. Out. In. Out.
4) Slowly open your eyes and gaze straight ahead.
DO NOT FOCUS on anything. Let things enter and exit your field of vision.
Do NOT turn your eyes or neck to follow anything. It's tempting to (it's automatic!) but when you catch yourself doing it, just conciously bring yourself back to center.
Envision the world as flowing around you- you are not a part of it. You are just an observer.
Do the same with noises and scents. They enter your conciousness and you let them flow around you.
Same with thoughts. Let thoughts flow into your head, acknowledge them and let them go.
Nothing is good or bad. Nothing matters but this moment.
A noise may be annoying, but don't let it rile you up. That chick might look ridiculous with her arms full of tiny yappy dogs, but don't let your mind or eyes follow her down the street. She looks ridiculous. Thought in, thought acknowledged, thought out, and she exits your field of vision as you stare straight ahead.
If it's too much, close your eyes again.
5) Enjoy the moment
If it's warm, enjoy the warmth
If it's cold, enjoy the biting cold on your face
If it's raining, let the rain fall down your skin, feel the droplets on your face
Enjoy the prickly grass under your fingers
Enjoy the solidness of the concrete bench you're leaning on
Enjoy the peace, or enjoy the bustle.
Find joy wherever you are RIGHT NOW.
6) Return.
Once you feel you have achieved some state of calm that is acceptable, calmly return to your life. Try to maintain this calm for as long as you can. Work calmly. Speak calmly.
Good luck.
Coping with THE FUTURE
In our society, our early lives are largely pre-determined.
Go to elementary school. Get to the bus on time. Don't hit Billy. Learn your times tables.
Go to high school. Pick from 3 course options. Pass the standardized tests. Finish the items on this list to get the grade.
After high school, go to a post-secondary school... or don't and get some kind of job. Get by.
In University, take some courses. Study a lot (or party a lot- it's up to you.) Get a good grade on the final and you will pass, get a bad grade and you will fail. It's stressful, but the path and goals are clear and agreed to. Pass the courses on this list and we will give you a degree.
Then go out and get the job that your degree says you should get. Or don't. Get by.
In a lot of ways it's more fun to be employed than it is to be a student. You get a nice paycheck and can afford nice things. You can use as many post-it notes as you want (within reason). You get fancy business cards with your fancy title on them. You're treated as an adult.
The problem with those of us in the career-phase of our lives (or in that post-school self-discovery phase) is that the clear paths are out the window. Unless you intend to climb the traditional corporate ladder, the possibilities of what you could do next are ENDLESS. You could do anything, go anywhere, and there are hundreds of ways that you may or may not get there. The only way to know is to try, to fail and keep failing until you succeed or give up.
There is no grade. No gold stars. There isn't even an F on your transcript to tell you that you didn't meet the mark and you need to try again. Sometimes you can't try again.
It's terrifying.
And that- that wide expanse of possibility- is what I call THE FUTURE.
THE FUTURE is a constant weight on your back - the pressure of what may or may not become. You daydream about it. Then you stress out about it.
THE FUTURE causes the endless questions running through your mind. Is this where I'm supposed to be?
Will I ever get to where I'm trying to go? When I finally get there, will everything be okay? Have I missed my chance? WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?
The worst part about THE FUTURE is that it's no use to you today. All it's doing is causing you stress. How can you cope?
1) You are okay.
It's very hard to just get by. That in it of itself is an achievement. If you're really lucky, you have your health, a steady job that you don't completely hate, and the love and support of friends and family. THE FUTURE looms beyond, and is pressing on your back, but it's up to you to make a move. Feel solid where you are today.
2) You will be okay.
Because you're you. You're smart. You know your own limits. You know the traps: don't get addicted to drugs, alcohol or gambling. Don't get in bed with the mafia and don't get thrown in jail. Don't get into crazy credit card debt. Don't believe the get-rich-quick pyramid schemes, and don't give everything away to a snake-oil salesman. If these things have happened to you, it's okay. You SURVIVED - you are ALIVE. Hopefully you've learned something. There is always a way up from rock bottom.
A lot of things may go wrong as you try to chase THE FUTURE. If you know your boundaries, overall, you will be okay. Even a list of spectacular failures makes for an interesting biography. At least, more interesting than worker-bot-went-to-school-got-job-went-to-work-every-day-for-forty-years-bleep-bloop
3) Make peace with status quo.
I'm not saying that you should settle for what you have now, necessarily. What I'm saying is that, for many of us the worst case scenario for failure will be status quo: where you are right now. For many of us that status quo is not too shabby. It's okay to want more and try for more, but if you end up just getting by, that's okay.
4) Banish THE FUTURE. Enjoy today.
THE FUTURE has its place in your life, of course. If you never dared to dream, you would never move forward. But THE FUTURE - today, right now, is no use to you if it's only making you anxious. If you postpone happiness for some far off goal, you may get there and realize that it wasn't worth the years of misery.
When you feel the pressure of THE FUTURE on your shoulders, just visualize lifting it off and putting it on a shelf. Keep your feet on solid ground and tell THE FUTURE to WAIT.
The journey is the fun part. The fun of trying to write the middle of a novel, or solve a really challenging sudoku, or climbing a really tough line, or trying on different shirts to get the right Look. It doesn't feel fun at the time, but without the thrashing we would all just be getting by as our life drains out of us.
5) Try something.
Anything.
Keep trying. Fail. Read a lot of books. Meet as many people as you can. Brainstorm some goals. Make some lists. Take swipes at THE FUTURE from your place as safety for as long as you are able. At some point you will need to jump. You will know when it is. Maybe.
You never know what's around the corner. It could be the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It could be a curse that you don't deserve. Life changes in ways we aren't able to predict. Your curse could lead to a new mission. Your spectacular failure could lead to an amazing discovery.
THE FUTURE wants you to worry about Fast Enough? Too Old? Ever Get There?
I want you to worry about what's TODAY. What's NEXT. Finding what FASCINATES you. Being Happy.
Screw THE FUTURE.
Taking steps towards your ideal day
Remember your ideal day? (Go check out the exercise if you haven't yet!... )
All of the hard work you're doing is to earn your ideal day. When is the last time you compared your actual day to your ideal day?
What are you doing right now that's not "ideal"?
What will it take to make that change?
Surprisingly, I've found that sometimes it takes... nothing! Sometimes there's nothing really holding you to your non-ideal day but habit and stubbornness.
The other day I realized that one of the major components of my ideal day was "freedom to chase inspiration": to work on whatever I felt like working on.
Instead, in my real life, I hold myself rigidly to my priorities and timelines, refusing to budge.
Finally, I stopped to ask myself... why?
I have deadlines, certainly, but no one is holding a gun to my head... why can't I carve out some time to chase inspiration? So I did. The rule was that as long as what I wanted to do was PRODUCTIVE in some way (ie, not just watching TV) I was allowed an hour to do it. That way I have a piece of my ideal day, and I won't fall too far off track.
So far the problem has been keeping myself to just one hour (last time went 1:46 according to my timer...) but in the days since I've found it WAY easier to focus on my goals, and it even unblocked me in a few places where I was having difficulty!
(I should note that I'm not some kind of souless machine... of course I have unproductive time where I am a useless, procrastinating pile of poop. The difference is when I waste time that way I feel guilty, for this 'inspiration time' I'm NOT allowing myself guilt. Telling myself it's an okay use of time is an important step.)
REMEMBER: the goal is happiness. It's pointless to spend all your time fighting for an imaginary future if you never actually build up the courage to claim parts of your ideal day. Who knows... your "real day" may become your ideal sooner than you think!
Welcome To The Breaking Point
You can't perform quickly with razor-sharp efficiency all the time. Perfection in that regard is just not possible. As you are constantly testing the upper bounds of possibility, you will sometimes step over the line.
You will break under the stress.
You will freak out.
It's important to acknowledge the emotion and what has happened. Sometimes you just break. Life can be really very overwhelming to someone addicted to achievement.
Calm Down.
Shut everything down. Shut off the feeds, the twitter, your phone, the TV news. None of that is important. Trust me, it will not explode if you leave it be for a few hours. It probably will chug along happily without you for a few days as you recover your sanity.
Remember the goal. The end goal is happiness, and to get there you need to focus on being happy EVERY DAY. You need to focus on being happy TODAY.
1) Let it out.
Find a safe place where you can be alone. Scream and cry. Acknowledge that you've pushed yourself too hard, you're broken now. You've got to break completely before you can begin the recovery process. Acknowledge that it will take a few days for you to get back to your peak performance. Be okay with that. Pushing now will only make the problem worse.
2) First let go of the anger.
There will be anger and sadness. Sadness slows you down, but anger actually damages the things around you. Every time something pokes at you and starts causing rage, try to suppress it with logic. The annoying stuck door is not a crisis. That is not what is actually bothering you, screaming and punching people is not helping anything or anyone. Breathe, Breathe.
It's okay to be sad for awhile. Accept that you are going to have a sad day, and tell yourself that it is okay. You are sad. It doesn't need a reason, it might not make sense. As long as you are not angry, be okay with sad.
3) Forget your original task list.
That was a "stretch" task list, and you've stretched too far. Turn off the timer. Try to stay out of meetings. Don't think about goals. Don't think about what others think. Just breathe. Just be.
4) Write a list of only the small things that need to get done
- everything that absolutely MUST to get done and overwith and out of your way. Put away all your longer term goals, stretch goals, working-for-the-distant-future goals. You're in recovery. You just need to get by.
5) Get by.
Tell yourself that you're going to clean today and get things off your list. That today you're just going to be sad and survive.
6) Act.
Move slowly and deliberately. Get things done in the slowest, calmest way that you possibly can. Be sad, be calm.
At the end of the day, if you managed to go the whole day just being sad and not angry, evaluate how your day went. Did the world explode without you performing at your miracle, superspeed level?
No.
When you're bored with being sad, get back to the things that make you happy.
Stop Stressing Out About Everything!
Sometimes it feels like you can't possibly finish everything you HAVE to get done between now and a certain deadline.
So you stress out about it.
But that is a waste of your emotional energy, and when you waste emotional energy you are draining the very energy that you NEED to get all of that done.
When I'm tearing around the house shouting "Aaaa! I'm so STRESSED OUT!"
My husband says "Well, stop stressing out then!"
We all know it's not that simple, but over time I learned that it WAS something that I could control, to a certain degree.
- Recognize that stressing out is a waste of your energy
- Write down everything you need to do before the deadline. Remember: NEED to do - not probably should do.
- Prioritize. Be ruthless!
- Work from the top of the list down.
There's no use stressing out over what you need to do. Just calm down and do it.
Two quick tips for introverts
I wrote this article on introverts and extraverts recently.
When I first wrote the draft I started writing tips, but I soon realized it was out of balance. I had lots of tips for introverts, but I wasn't confident writing tips for extraverts because, um, I'm not one. It's difficult for me to truly understand the other side, so if you're an extravert I encourage you to share your thoughts in the comments!
I am a terminal introvert, the kind that freaks out when they have to talk to some one face-to-face and craves time alone in a cave.
These tips come from direct experience.
1) "Faking it" is very effective!
The people you know are key to your success, so even if it's uncomfortable you have to learn to go out and talk to people you've never met. The best strategy I've found to do this is... just pretend you're an extravert!
Of course it's not as easy as it sounds- I do have to psych myself up for a few days beforehand, and then spend a few days afterward charging my 'introvert batteries'... but when I go to an event I just approach every situation, every conversation as I think an extravert would. I've actually gotten good enough at it to fool some people, but I can only keep it up for a day or two. After that I get very cranky :[
2) Remember to Recharge
When I feel really drained, I try to spend as much time as possible alone. Avoid meetings. Bury my nose in a book.
It can be tough when you're on the go, but sometimes even an hour in a quiet cafe can help your batteries recharge. My few most-treasured friends also have the effect of charging my batteries instead of draining them! Seek out your BFFs.
So, let me know! What are some of your personal tricks for dealing with life as an introvert or extravert?
Snowed Under?
Flow.
When everything seems to be falling down, it's easy to visualize fire. Frantic energy. Emergency.
This makes it really difficult to concentrate and make good decisions.
Even after you've prioritized your task list, you'll still have a TON of stuff to do. Yes. It's okay.
Visualize yourself flowing calmly from one task to another. Visit one, focus, finish, put it away. Flow to to the next task.
Remember to be EXTRA nice to everyone.
It's tempting to stab people (or glare them to death), but that will just damage your relationships for years to come. Instead, before every single interaction, take a moment to breathe. Before picking up the phone, breathe. Before opening up a reply email, breathe.
Try to breathe and listen when people are coming to talk to you. Pause before you speak. Praise people when they are getting things done. THANK them profusely for helping you, or for being patient.
It's extra difficult, but your effort will pay off in spades. Spreading kindness actually makes YOU feel better, and with persistent effort and help, your list will start to melt.
You can do it!
How to Fight Off Depression
Depression.
It's a delicate topic for me. I know I suffer from it and I have for a long time. Probably always will. Compared to some, I have it easy, so it feels callous to say that something as complex as depression can be 'fought off'.
Everybody gets sad, of course. Bad things happen to us, or the people we love. Usually we can shake off sadness within an hour or two, when the trigger is no longer there.
Depression, unlike sadness, may not have a specific trigger. There might not be an answer to "why are you depressed?"... you just are. It can last for days and weeks (or months in severe cases), but its severity is a spectrum. Those with mild cases of depression can still get to work and are not a constant teary mess, but they can't shake the feelings of sadness, lethargy, difficulty concentrating and performing at their usual level.
It is the mild, infrequent type of depression that I am speaking about in this post. Mild to moderate depression shouldn't be treated with medication, because the benefits outweigh the risks. So even though you have been diagnosed with depression, and it is affecting you negatively, you're on your own. YOU need to fight it off.
** the tips below are not a substitute for professional treatment **
If your depression is more severe (or persistent), get to a clinic and talk to a doctor.
1) Know what your depression looks like and acknowledge that it's there.
It's not your fault. Just accept that you are depressed. I liken mine to a kind of fog that wraps my head and an inability to find motivation, or joy in much of anything.
2) Decide you are going to fight it off.
It may seem simple, but these two first steps are usually the most important to fighting depression off. I don't like to admit that I'm depressed, and that keeps me from deciding to fight it off. Once I make the decision, things get better.
3) Let people know you are having problems
...and it might take you a bit longer to make good on your commitments.
You've made the decision to fight, and part of the fight might be taking it easy. A mind fighting off depression is a bit more delicate than it usually would be, and if you're able: just raise the red flag to people. I usually try to hide it from my colleagues unless it's a very severe case (and you should look into a company therapist or confidential referral program), but family, friends and other personal commitments deserve the heads up. Not only do they deserve to know, they can help you.
4) Detox.
Try to avoid chemicals that mess with your brain: caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, sugar and chocolate. I know, I know, when you can't get up in the morning and all you want to do is drown your sorrows, this doesn't seem like a good plan, but you'll recover faster.
5) Clean your environment.
Clutter affects us on the inside, and the repetitive, light motion is a good way to get yourself moving. Focus on cleaning one area at the time, and forgive yourself if it doesn't go as quickly as usual.
6) Go for a walk.
If possible, sit in the sunshine. I'm not sure what it is, but just walking aimlessly at a leisurely pace always seems to help. When it's raining, I just walk through the mall. It's not ideal, but at least it's not wet.
7) Look sharp.
Clean up, put on a skirt/tie. Once you improve the picture you see in the mirror, your internal, self-image improves a bit, too.
8 ) Do something fun, just for fun.
All work and no play make you something something. Rediscover the joy in your hobbies, or just fun in general. Don't worry about whether or not the work applies to your goals, or what else you might be doing. Find anything that can make you smile.
9) Get back on your diet and exercise regime, as soon as you are able.
If possible, don't go OFF your diet and exercise regime. On my most depressed days, I manage to drag myself down to the gym, but can't quite push myself to work up a sweat. I do what I can, but sometimes I just need to sit in the dressing room in the dark for awhile.
10) Gently, gently ease back into your routine and get things done.
Just going through the motions can help. Just like your diet and exercise routines, ANY progress you can make while still in a rough state is good progress. You don't need to be a superhero, just a regular human surviving the day.
11) Keep at it.
Remember that you're still delicate, but celebrate small victories and try to make every day better than the last until you're back to normal.