Depression and Confidence
Went a bit dark for awhile there, I apologize. To be honest I was fighting off some personal demons, depression in particular.
A few things were happening in chorus. I'd just come off Emerald City Comiccon, which was so intense, and amazing and this big release of fear and stress. It was awesome, but the effect that this can have - especially on me - is that when you IMMEDIATELY return to your regular life, it can make the experience feel like it never actually happened. I find that in these situations that I'm prone to falling into my own echo chamber of self doubt.
Usually I can combat this. Usually.
Unfortunately, around the same time I ALSO decided that I'd like to try becoming what I call "more Vegan-aware". I'm vegetarian right now, and this has made such a positive impact on my life and health that I posited "hm, if giving up meat was such a benefit, perhaps doing the additional step of giving up milk and eggs would prove even more beneficial!"
Of course I knew this would be a very challenging thing, so I didn't even TRY to go full on Vegan cold-turkey. That's where "vegan awareness" comes in. I decided to enter a phase where I would become more aware of which foods were and were not vegan and learning to work with the alternatives.
The first phase was to stop buying milk, and this was easy. I tried a few rice milks and then settled on a Soymilk that I like. This was not a problem.
The next phase was trying to give up eggs. Now, I eat a hard-boiled egg every day because I feel it goes a long way to keeping my protein and iron levels up. Of course, this was an assumption and I like to challenge assumptions. I'd tried giving up eggs in February in a "1 week on/1 week off" pattern and I was noticing that I would fall into depression at the end of my off week. I took a break from the experiment for the Emerald Con (I NEED the energy during cons!) but I had decided that the depression was just a phase that I needed to push through - my body would eventually adjust.
Well, without the benefit of milk to mitigate the effect of dropping the eggs, I went into a much deeper depression than I experienced in February.
I withdrew and I felt very lonely. I lost confidence in everything I was doing, including this blog. I had posts written up already - a few in fact - but I couldn't bring myself to post them. They didn't seem good enough, and I couldn't see how to fix them.
I had very little energy. It was very hard to get up in the morning and go to work (but I did). It got so bad that I caught myself actually hoping that I would get sick so I wouldn't have to go in. I would go home and just crawl into bed and cry for awhile. For no reason in particular. It sucked. I tried to compensate. On a particularly dark day at work, I went out at lunch and bought some intense vegan sources of protein - some cashew nuts, a protein shake, lots of tofu... it got me through the day but it was still rough. I was surviving, but I wasn't myself.
I didn't want to quit, though, because I knew that if I could just hang on, maybe I would adjust. Maybe it would get better.
But I was out of time. When it starts interfering with my work, that's when it's gone too far. I bought a bunch of milk, cheese and eggs and I IMMEDIATELY started to feel better. After a week or two I was starting to feel normal again. That was 1 week before Stumptown comics fest, and I had to push to get everything finished that I'd been too depressed to manage earlier.
But now I'm back. And I'm feeling better. I'm not done with my vegan-leaning experiments, but I definitely have to be more careful. Veganism doesn't cause depression, but I have to come to terms with the fact that I live my life very close to the line. Maybe, because I'm so prone to depression, I'm too sensetive to manage the imbalance caused by dropping milk and eggs. I manage the depression on my own - diet control IS my medication, and I can't take that lightly. Life is too short to go through it depressed.
Lessons learned:
- Listen to your body. Experiments are cool, but if it's interfering with things that are more important to you, tread lightly.
- If you're prone to depression, just recognize that dark days just happen. It's usually not your fault (in this case it probably was my fault 
) but your brain is the way it is. Don't give up. Keep moving forward.
So now I'm back to The Work. 
3 Easy Ways to Network
IS IT AS GOOD AS A "REAL LIFE" NETWORK?
1 - BOOKS
Go to your local library and punch in a few keywords that you're interested in. The books that come up might not be winners, but the great thing about libraries is that the books are sorted by subject.
Take down the reference numbers and browse the shelf. Pick 2 or 3 gems and start reading! Sure, there are bookstores, too, but I prefer to start with libraries because the risk is very low... if a book sucks, I can return it.
Quite often you'll find the same books referenced over and over. The books will also mention other topics and people that are important to the subject - take note: these are your new keywords. In this way, you're entering an ever-expanding web of books and names that are related.
1.5 - BLOGS
2.0 - FORUMS and SOCIAL NETWORKING
3.0 Build YOUR reputation and attract a network.
Transition your Online Network to a Real Network
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of building a network around your dreams... and I've just told you that getting started is as simple as going to the library and finding a book! What are you waiting for?
Stop Stressing Out About Everything!
Sometimes it feels like you can't possibly finish everything you HAVE to get done between now and a certain deadline.
So you stress out about it.
But that is a waste of your emotional energy, and when you waste emotional energy you are draining the very energy that you NEED to get all of that done.
When I'm tearing around the house shouting "Aaaa! I'm so STRESSED OUT!"
My husband says "Well, stop stressing out then!"
We all know it's not that simple, but over time I learned that it WAS something that I could control, to a certain degree.
- Recognize that stressing out is a waste of your energy
- Write down everything you need to do before the deadline. Remember: NEED to do - not probably should do.
- Prioritize. Be ruthless!
- Work from the top of the list down.
There's no use stressing out over what you need to do. Just calm down and do it.
How to Fight Off Depression
Depression.
It's a delicate topic for me. I know I suffer from it and I have for a long time. Probably always will. Compared to some, I have it easy, so it feels callous to say that something as complex as depression can be 'fought off'.
Everybody gets sad, of course. Bad things happen to us, or the people we love. Usually we can shake off sadness within an hour or two, when the trigger is no longer there.
Depression, unlike sadness, may not have a specific trigger. There might not be an answer to "why are you depressed?"... you just are. It can last for days and weeks (or months in severe cases), but its severity is a spectrum. Those with mild cases of depression can still get to work and are not a constant teary mess, but they can't shake the feelings of sadness, lethargy, difficulty concentrating and performing at their usual level.
It is the mild, infrequent type of depression that I am speaking about in this post. Mild to moderate depression shouldn't be treated with medication, because the benefits outweigh the risks. So even though you have been diagnosed with depression, and it is affecting you negatively, you're on your own. YOU need to fight it off.
** the tips below are not a substitute for professional treatment **
If your depression is more severe (or persistent), get to a clinic and talk to a doctor.
1) Know what your depression looks like and acknowledge that it's there.
It's not your fault. Just accept that you are depressed. I liken mine to a kind of fog that wraps my head and an inability to find motivation, or joy in much of anything.
2) Decide you are going to fight it off.
It may seem simple, but these two first steps are usually the most important to fighting depression off. I don't like to admit that I'm depressed, and that keeps me from deciding to fight it off. Once I make the decision, things get better.
3) Let people know you are having problems
...and it might take you a bit longer to make good on your commitments.
You've made the decision to fight, and part of the fight might be taking it easy. A mind fighting off depression is a bit more delicate than it usually would be, and if you're able: just raise the red flag to people. I usually try to hide it from my colleagues unless it's a very severe case (and you should look into a company therapist or confidential referral program), but family, friends and other personal commitments deserve the heads up. Not only do they deserve to know, they can help you.
4) Detox.
Try to avoid chemicals that mess with your brain: caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, sugar and chocolate. I know, I know, when you can't get up in the morning and all you want to do is drown your sorrows, this doesn't seem like a good plan, but you'll recover faster.
5) Clean your environment.
Clutter affects us on the inside, and the repetitive, light motion is a good way to get yourself moving. Focus on cleaning one area at the time, and forgive yourself if it doesn't go as quickly as usual.
6) Go for a walk.
If possible, sit in the sunshine. I'm not sure what it is, but just walking aimlessly at a leisurely pace always seems to help. When it's raining, I just walk through the mall. It's not ideal, but at least it's not wet.
7) Look sharp.
Clean up, put on a skirt/tie. Once you improve the picture you see in the mirror, your internal, self-image improves a bit, too.
8 ) Do something fun, just for fun.
All work and no play make you something something. Rediscover the joy in your hobbies, or just fun in general. Don't worry about whether or not the work applies to your goals, or what else you might be doing. Find anything that can make you smile.
9) Get back on your diet and exercise regime, as soon as you are able.
If possible, don't go OFF your diet and exercise regime. On my most depressed days, I manage to drag myself down to the gym, but can't quite push myself to work up a sweat. I do what I can, but sometimes I just need to sit in the dressing room in the dark for awhile.
10) Gently, gently ease back into your routine and get things done.
Just going through the motions can help. Just like your diet and exercise routines, ANY progress you can make while still in a rough state is good progress. You don't need to be a superhero, just a regular human surviving the day.
11) Keep at it.
Remember that you're still delicate, but celebrate small victories and try to make every day better than the last until you're back to normal.
Again, depression is serious, and it strikes without warning or reason. If you can't fight it off with these steps within a few days, it's okay to ask for professional help.
What to do when you’re STRESSED OUT!
Sometimes it feels like you can't possibly finish everything you HAVE to get done between now and a certainly deadline.
So you stress out about it.
But that is a waste of your emotional energy, and when you waste emotional energy you are draining the energy that you need to get all of that done.
When I'm tearing around the house shouting "Aaaa! I'm so STRESSED OUT!"
My husband says "So? Stop stressing out!"
We all know it's not that simple, but over time I learned that my stress level WAS something that I could control, to a certain degree.
1) Recognize that stressing out is a waste of your energy
The state of being under stress is not something you can control, but you can control your behaviour: how you respond to it. A stressed out person is frantic, edgy, shouts, runs around trying to do everything at once. A not-stresed out person is calm. Speaks softly. Addresses one problem at a time. Ignores the unimportant. Change your behavior to match the non-stressed (even if you are) and it will help change your mood.
2) Write down everything you need to do before the deadline. Remember: NEED to do - not probably should do.
This is an emergency! I don't have time to write a stupid list!
This is an emergency. This the time when you ABSOLUTELY need to focus only on what is critical.
3) Prioritize.
What are the consequences of letting something slide for an hour? a day? a week? a month, even? If it's not on fire TODAY, put it at the bottom of the list. Remember your BIG ROCKS.
If there are still lots of things that need to get done, do they absolutely have to get done BY YOU? Are there things you can take care of by phone or online? Can you get your friend, husband, or coworker to take one or two tasks off your plate? Can you hire a task out instead of doing it yourself?
Be RUTHLESS with your list. Focus. Survive.
4) Work from the top of the list down.
Ignore everything that can be ignored, starting with everything electronic. If it isn't a call you are expecting, related to the urgent tasks at hand, let it go to voicemail. Answer them in batches after lunch or at the end of the day. Politely tell people that you're dealing with a crisis and would prefer if you could talk to them later.
Bail out of meetings, or ask whether they can be moved.
Keep at problem #1 like a dog on a bone until you can cleanly scratch it off the list. Then work diligently on the next.
Remember that stress is a response, not a mandatory state of being when you're busy.
There's no use stressing out over what you need to do. Just calm down and do it.
5 Ways to Fight the Blahs
We all fall prey to 'the blahs' sometimes. You know how it is:
You're not sick, you're wide awake (usually the middle of the afternoon), but you're bored and unable to get motivated to do much of ANYTHING. There's things that you should do, could do, might do, but you can't even get into procrastinating. You're not necessarily sad or depressed, just... uninspired.
When you're suffering from the blahs, it's easy to get sucked into passive timetraps like TV. You know you should get up. You know you should finish that thing or work on something or call so-and-so back... right after one more episode of Lost.
The blahs are one of the enemies between you and your goals. Here are five ways to fight:
1) Shut down your time traps.
Turn off the TV. Close distractions on your computer. Better yet: step away from the computer altogether for awhile. The first step to getting out is to make the choice to NOT get sucked into something. Even if you're just staring at a wall, that's better than being amused to death.
2) Get a pen and paper.
Put the pen on the paper. Move the pen. It doesn't matter whether you're writing or drawing or just making random marks. Making your hands move is the first step to getting your thoughts flowing. As thoughts flow, energy flows, and soon you will be moving again. (writing not your thing? As an alternative you can bounce a ball against a wall...not recommended for <800sqft apartments)
3) Go outside and explore. (ON FOOT)
Often I find that the blahs are a result of cabin fever. Find an excuse and a destination - it can be anywhere as long as it's farther than to the corner coffee shop and back. Stretch your eyes (focus on things at a distance), take the time to look and examine your surroundings. Investigate shops you've never taken the time to enter before. Take a bus somewhere random (the same bus will always be able to take you back).
Find somewhere new. It's stimulating, and a sure cure for the blahs... as long as you can get yourself motivated enough to get out the door!
4) Go see a friend, or just give them a call.
Is it too cold or rainy to get motivated to go outside? Seek stimulation from other people - just NOT on the internet!! The computer is a timetrap. If you can't get through, call a parent or grandparent. Trust me - they ALWAYS want to talk.
5) Don't fight it.
Sometimes the blahs are a sign of creative burnout. If you're an introvert, you may just need some alone time. Instead of forcing yourself back to the grindstone, take some time to creatively recharge. Get inspired - read or re-read an interesting book, lay back and listen to an audiobook or your favourite album.
Sometimes we just need a BREAK.
If you choose option 5, think of it as a sick day for your brain. You're proactively electing to lose one day to the blahs instead of a week to lackluster creativity. If you're in day 2 or 3 of the blahs, get off your butt and try some of those earlier tips!!
The blahs are no fun, get inspired and go kick some ass!
Introvert or Extravert? Does your working style suit your type?
INTROVERSION versus EXTRAVERSION
You have probably heard these terms before. In case you haven't, whether you are an introvert or an extravert determines how you react to interactions with other people.
Introversion or Extraversion is a fundamental facet of your personality that can't be changed. This is a continuum, and every person falls somewhere on the spectrum - to be highly introverted is to be hardly extraverted - you can't be both.
Before we continue, I'd like to dispel some myths about this personality trait:
- Introversion/Extraversion is NOT a measure of how many friends you have
- It has nothing to do with shyness or social skills
- Neither is good or bad, both have advantages or disadvantages
Knowing whether you're an introvert or extravert is a key component to ENERGY MANAGEMENT, as will become clear.
INTROVERTS: "predominantly concerned with and interested in one's own mental life"
An INTROVERT is content to be alone, and finds dealing with other people draining. They don't necessarily want to be alone ALL the time, but if an introvert doesn't have enough 'alone time', they will feel overwhelmed.
- Introverts tend to be more reserved, and keep a small circle of intimate friends.
- Introverts are not necessarily shy but may prefer activities that they are alone for (reading, art, working on something by themselves)
- Introverts don't tend to enjoy small talk, but enjoy deeper one-on-one conversations with those they already know
- Typical introvert jobs: artist, writer, engineer, composer, and inventor
EXTRAVERTS - "obtain gratificiation from what is outside the self"
An EXTRAVERT feels invigorated when around other people, and finds being alone draining. They love meeting new people. Extraverts feel that they have failed if they haven't met every single person at a party.
- Extraverts prefer group activities
- They tend to think out loud, "talk things through" to come to their conclusions
- Typical extravert jobs: Politics, teaching, sales, managing, brokering, and acting
If neither of these brief descriptions sound like a dead ringer for you, you might fall somewhere closer to the middle of the spectrum, or you may be an ambivert:
AMBIVERTS - People who exhibit tendencies from both groups. Ambiverts are comfortable with groups and also enjoy alone time. They don't find people or solitude particularly draining.
If you think you are an ambivert, I recommend that you find and take a quiz online, as it's not a typical result. (I've only ever met one that I know of!) Most will be at least slightly introverted or extraverted, and it is a useful thing to know.
Here is a test you can take. it's kind of long and ads-y, but it seems safe and it doesn't force you to register.
http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=697
KNOW YOUR SIDE
I must stress that neither trait is good or bad, but it's important that you know where you fall on the continuum, so you can diagnose when problems getting things done may be attributed to this particular personality trait. If an introvert feels drained, they might need alone time. If a extravert feels drained, they might need to go out to meet some new people. The cure for one is the poison for the other.
Once you know your side, it's important to learn how to take advantage of its strengths and compensate for its shortcomings. Both sides have advantages to success: introverts are comfortable with the laser focus needed to finish amazing things. Extraverts can easily form the important connections that get them where they need to go. Remember, you can't change your type, but you can teach yourself to act outside it.
Are you trying to force yourself to do something you're not naturally inclined to do?
Are you an extravert and trying to succeed in a traditionally introverted role, like writing? You may be struggling because writing demands that you be alone for significant periods of time, which you find draining. Similarly, an introvert will struggle in roles where a lot of personal interaction and social manipulation is required, like sales or politics. You can't help it if your passions don't match your type (not all brilliant writers are introverts - hardly!), sometimes finding the path to success is as simple as changing the way you work.
An extravert writer might find a writing group invigorating. They may 'write' by speaking in an animated session with their co-author, or seeking out dozens of interviews. Working in the company of others (like in a studio) may be another way to compensate, but it might also end up being distracting. You'll get much closer to your goals when you're not forcing yourself to 'thrive in solitude'... which is difficult for extraverts. Similarly, an introvert salesman might do better writing letters instead of going door-to-door!
Recognize what charges you and what drains you
The introvert who has been dragged to seventeen parties this month might feel completely exahusted... the extravert partner can't figure out why! Once you know the cause, the cure is easy.
Recognize it in others
If you need a decision from someone, it's useful to try and guess whether they are an introvert or an extravert. An introvert might come to a decision more quickly if you would just stop talking to them and let them think for a moment - they find conversation draining. They might respond better if you put the request in writing. An extravert will require that you phone them, or help them 'talk the decision through'. It's especially important to recognize this personality trait in your closest friends and partners.
Introvert or Extravert: you may not be able to change who you are, but once you know it and own it, you'll be able to use your trait to your advantage!
Sleep Hygiene
This blog is about training your brain to be as productive and creative it can be, so you can find your way to happiness every day. What on earth does that have to do with sleeping?
We all know how we feel when we've had a good night's sleep: we are thrilled to greet the day, ideas come easily and we can happily get things done. We're also all familiar with the opposite - those days when you get out of the wrong side of the bed- we're plagued with pessimisim, procrastination, and an inability to concentrate. If anything manages to get done, it feels like pulling teeth, and the whole day is brought down as a result.
If you feel like most of your days are the second type, you might have a problem with Sleep Hygiene. Remember - just because you fell unconcious during the night doesn't necessarily mean you got eight solid hours of good quality sleep. In this post I'll give you some tips to whip your sleep habits into shape, and with some discipline and practice, you'll have more sunny, productive days in your future!
Weekly List Review – part 2 of 3
How to Schedule Your Work Week.
Last week, I told you about a strategy to organize all the different projects and responsibilities you have going on in your life. Now that you have all the "next steps" that you need to do written down for every project, it's STILL paralyzing. There's so much to do, and you will still be stuck trying to decide what the most important thing you should be working on is.
This week, I'm going to help you break that giant binder full of lists into ONE LIST of actions that you are going to tackle this week.
** Note, this strategy is best for your WORK DAY, when you have eight full hours to dedicate to the tasks. I use a different strategy to plan my PERSONAL LIFE and PERSONAL GOALS, which I'll go over in part 3. If your work is more flexible (if you are self-employed for example and are free to mix up personal chores and professional obligations) your resulting system might be a mix of the two strategies.
Know your Energy Cycle – Maximize your Productivity!
We all have ups and downs in our day, times when we're really alert and active and other times when we're really sleepy and drained. But are you working WITH your ups and downs or AGAINST them? A good way to tell is to map out your own stress/energy cycle.
Below is a sketch of my Stress/Energy cycle. Now, I must emphasize, in big fat capital letters: THIS IS - ANGELA'S - STRESS/ENERGY CYCLE - I'm using it as an example, but you need to build your own!
My Creative Energy and Stress Throughout the Day