Focus and Loneliness
Quick update on my attempt to balance intense focus with 1-hour of GTD: hasn't been really working so far. I've been sick though... stay tuned.
Lately, instead of my usual running-around-like-crazy GTD, I've been trying to focus all of my frantic energy into one big, massive, scary project. The goal here is to accomplish something major and hopefully achieve a breakthrough/level up in skill level.
One major side effect of the focus is loneliness. In order to to make progress on this project, I've noticed that I need to sequester myself every day for significant periods of time. Unlike other forms of GTD, it doesn't lend itself well to being done "in between" other tasks - in between social outings with friends for example. Focusing like this is like meditation or REM sleep: it's something I have to sink into and concentrate on for hours, it's not something I can tackle in 15-minute increments.
It also doesn't lend itself well to regular reporting. Not only is the project somewhat "secret" (because I may never finish/follow through and it may be years before I have anything substantial to 'announce'), but I have nothing to say, nothing to share. The project has consumed my life and displaced any interesting activities/ mini-projects I may have otherwise done.
This is very different from my usual way of doing things. I've cut back on comic-shows significantly. The energy I've diverted into this project has prevented me from releasing other new products. I quite literally have nothing significant to talk about on twitter, facebook or my comic blog.
I wonder whether my readership has even noticed this, as I believe that in the culture of media-bombardment that the internet has become it is quite difficult to notice a 'missing' or reduced voice. I think that even if they have noticed, my readership would probably forgive the temporary reprieve. I have one of the most wonderful, understanding and forgiving readerships in webcomic-dom and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise 
This project is worth it and if I ever emerge with something worth sharing on the other side it will be interesting to say the least. That isn't what worries me.
What worries me is how much I miss the back-chatter. It's lonely!
Being the fiercely-introverted weirdo that I am, I'm actually quite surprised by this turn of events. My 'dream vacation' is a quiet cabin on a lake where there is nobody for miles and I can do whatever I want... reading, writing, drawing, painting... so to discover that I'm actually LONELY when focusing on writing is shocking to me.
I'm not really sure what to do about it yet. It could be something that I just need to power through - the project is finite, after all. Long, but finite. Perhaps it's just a different temperature of water and I'm still trying to acclimate.
Or perhaps I could just start tweeting about things that are completely inane and random... 
#unfollow
At the end of the day, I'll be fine. I still have my husband and my coworkers. I live in a huge bustling city and my friends are a text-message away. It's the emotional journey - the battle being fought between my brain and my pen - that I must face alone. It's the only way to do it, and I MUST do it.