Mind Management Angela May

Coping with THE FUTURE

In our society, our early lives are largely pre-determined.

Go to elementary school. Get to the bus on time. Don't hit Billy. Learn your times tables.

Go to high school. Pick from 3 course options. Pass the standardized tests. Finish the items on this list to get the grade.

After high school, go to a post-secondary school... or don't and get some kind of job. Get by.

In University, take some courses. Study a lot (or party a lot- it's up to you.) Get a good grade on the final and you will pass, get a bad grade and you will fail. It's stressful, but the path and goals are clear and agreed to. Pass the courses on this list and we will give you a degree.

Then go out and get the job that your degree says you should get. Or don't. Get by.

In a lot of ways it's more fun to be employed than it is to be a student. You get a nice paycheck and can afford nice things. You can use as many post-it notes as you want (within reason). You get fancy business cards with your fancy title on them. You're treated as an adult.

The problem with those of us in the career-phase of our lives (or in that post-school self-discovery phase) is that the clear paths are out the window. Unless you intend to climb the traditional corporate ladder, the possibilities of what you could do next are ENDLESS. You could do anything, go anywhere, and there are hundreds of ways that you may or may not get there. The only way to know is to try, to fail and keep failing until you succeed or give up.

There is no grade. No gold stars. There isn't even an F on your transcript to tell you that you didn't meet the mark and you need to try again. Sometimes you can't try again.

It's terrifying.

And that- that wide expanse of possibility- is what I call THE FUTURE.

THE FUTURE is a constant weight on your back - the pressure of what may or may not become. You daydream about it. Then you stress out about it.

THE FUTURE causes the endless questions running through your mind. Is this where I'm supposed to be?
Will I ever get to where I'm trying to go? When I finally get there, will everything be okay? Have I missed my chance? WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?

The worst part about THE FUTURE is that it's no use to you today. All it's doing is causing you stress. How can you cope?

1) You are okay.

It's very hard to just get by. That in it of itself is an achievement. If you're really lucky, you have your health, a steady job that you don't completely hate, and the love and support of friends and family. THE FUTURE looms beyond, and is pressing on your back, but it's up to you to make a move. Feel solid where you are today.

2) You will be okay.

Because you're you. You're smart. You know your own limits. You know the traps: don't get addicted to drugs, alcohol or gambling. Don't get in bed with the mafia and don't get thrown in jail. Don't get into crazy credit card debt.  Don't believe the get-rich-quick pyramid schemes, and don't give everything away to a snake-oil salesman. If these things have happened to you, it's okay. You SURVIVED - you are ALIVE. Hopefully you've learned something. There is always a way up from rock bottom.

A lot of things may go wrong as you try to chase THE FUTURE. If you know your boundaries, overall, you will be okay. Even a list of spectacular failures makes for an interesting biography. At least, more interesting than worker-bot-went-to-school-got-job-went-to-work-every-day-for-forty-years-bleep-bloop

3) Make peace with status quo.

I'm not saying that you should settle for what you have now, necessarily. What I'm saying is that, for many of us the worst case scenario for failure will be status quo: where you are right now. For many of us that status quo is not too shabby. It's okay to want more and try for more, but if you end up just getting by, that's okay.

4) Banish THE FUTURE. Enjoy today.

THE FUTURE has its place in your life, of course.  If you never dared to dream, you would never move forward. But THE FUTURE - today, right now, is no use to you if it's only making you anxious. If you postpone happiness for some far off goal, you may get there and realize that it wasn't worth the years of misery.

When you feel the pressure of THE FUTURE on your shoulders, just visualize lifting it off and putting it on a shelf. Keep your feet on solid ground and tell THE FUTURE to WAIT.

The journey is the fun part. The fun of trying to write the middle of a novel, or solve a really challenging sudoku, or climbing a really tough line, or trying on different shirts to get the right Look. It doesn't feel fun at the time, but without the thrashing we would all just be getting by as our life drains out of us.

5) Try something.

Anything.

Keep trying. Fail. Read a lot of books. Meet as many people as you can. Brainstorm some goals. Make some lists. Take swipes at THE FUTURE from your place as safety for as long as you are able. At some point you will need to jump. You will know when it is. Maybe.

You never know what's around the corner. It could be the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It could be a curse that you don't deserve. Life changes in ways we aren't able to predict.  Your curse could lead to a new mission. Your spectacular failure could lead to an amazing discovery.

THE FUTURE wants you to worry about Fast Enough? Too Old? Ever Get There?

I want you to worry about what's TODAY. What's NEXT. Finding what FASCINATES you. Being Happy.

Screw THE FUTURE.