20 Networking DON’Ts
You know the old adage about "it's not what you know, it's who you know"?
It's true.
The missing second half of the adage is that you actually have to WORK to get to know more people, and find the right people for your goals.
There are lots of books about how you SHOULD build a network, but I feel like I still haven't mastered the art (and it is an art). However, I cannot underscore the importance of networking enough, so I wanted to summarize what I've learned so far. The best I can come up with is a list of networking DON'Ts. A lot of this list feels like "how to be popular"... but at the end of the day, regrettably, that's what life is. Talent and experience are only part of the equation. If you can't navigate social circles and build a powerful network, you will falter. The good news is that it's MUCH more fun than high school, because you'll be building a network of talented, brilliant and interesting people (not just jocks and cheerleaders 
)
1. Don't be lame and ditch out of social events.
GO to dinner, GO out for drinks (even if you don't drink). It seems frivolous, but it is in these social settings that true bonds are formed.
2. DON'T be a person other people don't want to be around
- Be positive about yourself and your situation. People can only pity you for so long, at the end of the day the Negative Nancies and Debbie Downers stop getting invited to the parties.
- Be outgoing, as much as you can be (and it CAN be learned!)
- Be funny, if you can, or at least be nice
3. Don't trash talk people, whether they're around you or not.
Word travels, and even if the person that you're with doesn't spread what you've said, they will be wondering what you are saying about THEM when they're not around.
4. Don't gossip.
Loose lips sink ships, and if you're known as a gossip no one will tell you anything truly valuable. It's okay to listen politely, but don't contribute, dig for details, or spread rumours. It can only get you into trouble.
5. Don't make assumptions about people you've never met.
Approach with an open mind and form your own conclusions. It's important to be aware of how others are perceived within a community, but you might be surprised. People CAN change and grow. You might find a valuable ally who was overlooked by the others in your network.
6. Don't assume you are the best in a group and don't have anything to learn.
There is ALWAYS something to learn from ANYONE. LISTEN. You can find expertise and insipration in the most amazing places.
7. Don't be flaky or unreliable.
If you say you're going to be somewhere at sometime, BE THERE. Keep your promises.
8. Don't lie.
If you're trying to join a community, you will be outed eventually. It's tough to live down.
9. Don't be rude (to anyone - especially service sector folk), and don't be a bigot
These traits stick to your reputation like glue.
10. Don't be unstable - flying off the handle at every bump or offhand remark
If people feel like they have to walk on eggshells around you, they will be wary to be open with you or will avoid you entirely. Those with thick skin get told the truth, learn faster and are better for it.
11. Don't bring drama
Check your baggage at the door. Even if the drama relates to the community, it's better to stay out of it.
12. DON'T get completely shitfaced and force others to look after you.
Drinking is fine, especially if you need one or two to help you overcome social anxiety, but KNOW YOUR LIMIT and stay well under it.
13. Don't constantly beg OTHERS to get completely shitfaced, etc.
If they are not into it, they aren't into it. Just leave it be. A quiet evening is far more enlightening than an acid trip.
14. Don't party crash.
It will take time for you to get invited to the right places, shoe-horning yourself in is going to hurt you more than help you.
15. Don't bring a whole entourage to "THE parties"
or, don't spread the word about a party if you weren't supposed to.
You can control your own behavior, but not the behavior of others. In the end, being the one who "let them in" is just as bad as being the bad actor. If you managed to get invited, make sure that the invitation is extended to the others you want to bring, or you won't find yourself invited again. If YOU are part of the "entourage" getting into a party, make a good impression. Don't make anyone regret it.
16. Don't "fangirl/fanboy out" to people.
You may tell them calmly that you like their work or convey your respect and admiration, but try not to get star-struck. The big players are still just people. Related: don't ask for or expect ridiculous favours/name-drops from someone you've met once or twice. Those in higher positions worked very hard to get there. Be humble and respect that. They owe you nothing.
17. Don't be a cheapass.
People will understand if you're on a budget, but if you show up to a party with no booze and drink everyone else's, or start stuffing your bag with the free food, they will remember you and NOT in a good way.
18. Don't sell yourself in casual networking situations.
There are times to sell and there are times not to. If someone asks for your card, give it to them, but don't launch into an elevator pitch upon introduction. It's good to let people know how you fit into the greater context of a network (are you a creator? A supporting businessperson? A friend in an adjacent field?) but don't jam it down their throat.
19. Don't steer the conversation towards being "about you" at every oppportunity.
DO open up and share yourself, but it should be an equal exchange.
20. Don't form a clique.
Some friends will be closer than others, but mix it up. You don't want your whole network to depend on a small handful of relationships.
At the end of the day, remember: networking is about making friends, and you can't fake that. Be a good friend- a genuine, good friend -and good things will follow.