22Sep/091
Sanity Management: Introduction
Calgary, Alberta
YOU ARE YOUR OWN OPPONENT
The final component to mind management is the one that brings it all together. You know where you want to go (goals). You know how to get there (tasks and actions). You've found the time to do it (time management) and you have the energy to do it (energy management).
But you're staring at the project, and you can't bring yourself to work. You're paralyzed. You procrastinate.
Why aren't you working!
Sanity management is the human component of the equation. Try as we might to treat ourselves like machines, we are NOT machines. We are complex, emotional beings. Our mind is a jumble that few of us are able to understand. We must take some of our precious time to unravel the tangle of emotions up there and get to the root of the problem: Why are you unhappy?
BE TRUE TO YOUR EMOTIONS
One of the largest barriers that we face in sanity management is just admitting that we have an emotional problem. Even if you have a great life, and you're in control, and you have a lot to be thankful for, it's possible that there's still something up there, bothering you- making you unhappy. Even if you're a big strong dude you still have emotions that can get in your way.
It's okay to be unhappy. It's okay to be angry or stressed out. No one is perfect.
Once you're prepared to admit that there is an emotional problem preventing you from working, you should take some time to go BACK TO BASICS: run through some of the first goal-setting exercises. Re-evaluate your short and long term goals and your recent activity towards (or away) from them. Quite often you'll find a discrepancy: you're moving away from some of your most basic goals. You haven't been working towards your priorities. Perhaps there is something even deeper that's been on your mind.
GET IT OUT
Once you think you've identified the emotional problem, you need to EXPRESS it somehow. Perhaps expressing it means an introspective, rambley journal entry. Perhaps it means a painting. Perhaps it means a phone call to a loved one. Perhaps it means rehashing your goals and starting anew. SOMEHOW you must verbalize, express or otherwise process the emotion. It doesn't matter where it goes, it can be private, it can be public, it can be symbolic and cryptic. As long as it is OUTSIDE your own head.
GET BACK ON TRACK
If during this process you came up with a real, tangible PROBLEM - you should take a step to correct it. ANY step. If the problem is that you feel uncomfortable in your body - dress up. Get a haircut. Make a healthy dinner. If the step is that you aren't working towards your passion, WORK on it NOW.
Even if you have some tight-deadline tasks ahead, take the time to work towards that passion, no matter how little. If the problem is you haven't been spending as much time with loved ones recently - GO SPEND TIME WITH THEM!! This will help clear the emotional fog in your head. Once your mind is in working order, you can get back to knocking tasks off your action list -- getting them out of the way so you can work towards your BIG GOALS again. By taking a bit of time to fix the problem, you'll be able to finish the work FASTER.
LIVE GUILT FREE
As I've said before, nobody is perfect. Yet people tend to heap a TREMENDOUS amount of guilt upon themselves for NOT being perfect. For not getting the work done at a machine's pace. For not being a "perfect dad". For not having a perfect body. For not being the "best" at something.
Taking some time to de-stress, hang out with friends, have fun, and just r e l a x i n g are perfectly acceptable uses of your time. In fact they are more than just acceptable - they are essential. No one needs to or should work all the time. What's the point to a life with no fun? Strive to achieve a BALANCE between work and play.
We all get stressed out. We all have challenges. We all mess up.
All you can do is your best every day. If you've done your best, you have NOTHING to be guilty about. Don't live with regret.
PSYCHOLOGY
There's lots more information that will fall into this category, and most of it has to do with psychology.
- Know thyself - learn what motivates YOU, discover and overcome YOUR anxiety triggers
- Learn about how your environment affects you psychologically
- Learn how to find encouragement, motivation and inspiration both from within and without
- Learn to recognize psychological traps and how to extricate yourself from them
WARNING: I have no formal training in psychology, just a personal interest. All of the information that will fall under the "psychology" category in future posts will be derived from self-observation and terribly lazy internet research.
Sanity Management is the most difficult and ambiguous component of mind management. It is the one that I, myself, must work the most towards. We are all seeking happiness, and in that quest, we must come to terms with the fact that sometimes, we aren't quite there yet.
April 20th, 2011 - 09:10
Great post!
I also think that negative emotions have their time and place, and that allowing them to run their course, while keeping them in check to prevent them from taking over, is healthy. It’s OK to be sad or angry every now and then, just not too often nor for too long, lest they become a problem. Your steps provide a good guideline for getting out of those slumps.
You say that “[a]ll you can do is your best every day. If you’ve done your best, you have NOTHING to be guilty about. Don’t live with regret”. I’ve been living by a similar mantra for a long time now, or at least trying to; it’s kind of hard when your mind keeps second-guessing you and calling you out, perhaps unfairly. What do you do when that “voice” tells you that your best was not good enough, that you could have done better?
Also, this is a wonderful blog. I hope you keep updating it. I know I’ll keep coming back to check it out. =)