Idiot-proof your life
When we forget things, we often beat ourselves up. We think: "If only I was less forgetful, less of an idiot, life would be easier!"
We look at people who seem to have it all together, and we assume they must not suffer from the same flakiness, absent-mindedness, or laziness that plagues us. Our very nature is keeping us from success: they have the advantage and there's nothing we can do.
But it isn't true!
We're ALL idiots (yes, even me, and even you) and the sooner we come to terms with that, the sooner we can start doing something about it!
The difference between the organized and the disorganized is that those who have it all together have actually taken steps to idiot proof their life.
I always forget my keys, so I reinforce the habit of locking the door on my way out. I am late for early appointments, so I book them into my calendar earlier than they actually are.
To succeed, sometimes you have to outsmart yourself!
This is only a test
Testing the WordPress android app, here is a picture of my 2012 overall calendar! I'm not sure I like this layout but it works ok.
Many big changes have been happening in my life and the lives of people I love...
More to come, hopefully.
Reader Questions II
How do manage to find times of focusing for all of the comic, EnergyWise, Trevor and general life?
How do you decide what will take priority over what?
How do you manage the general information overload from e-mail, social media and other sources on and off the internet?
It's not a common arrangement but for us it makes the most sense.)Are there any business practices you notice that are uniquely a product of the Canadian culture?
If you want to improve your abilities with a hobby (say drawing or writing), but time is precious and hard to come by, what's the best way to go about it? Is it better to spend your "spare" time on practicing by oneself? Should you spend more of if interacting with other people who are already successful at it?
(continuing with the question) How do you stay motivated when those around you are already expert at it?
Reader Questions I
Got totally overwhelmed by the end of the year there, but I'm back with a vengeance. To get myself rolling once more here at Mind Management, I asked my readers for their Time Management questions...
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How essential do you think a routine is to making sure your time is managed effectively? I work in shifts from 16- 39 hours a week. I don't do the same days or times week to week so I find really hard to split my time between work, studying, social and hobbies. Any suggestions?
I've definitely been giving a lot more thought to habit and routine this year, but University was definitely more of a "shift" style arrangement with meettings and projects to manage. It's not easy! The human mind seems to thrive on habit and ritual. It takes us time to switch gears and settle into a task - like studying, or doing chores. But it's not impossible!
Here are some things you can try:
* Think of your day in one-hour chunks rather than blocks of "work" and "not work". When you're off work, use a timer to start a block and keep yourself focused (More on that: http://www.angelamay.ca/index.php/2010/01/count-up-timer ). You might need to limit your hobby to an hour a day in order to keep everything in balance but trust me - you can get a lot done in one hour if you focus!
- Keep an active list of *everything* you need to get done - for work, chores, hobby, social... everything on the same list!! When you have a spare five minutes and/or you just don't know what to tackle next, look down the list. Can you squeeze in fifteen minutes of class reading before your next lecture? Can you text a friend and schedule a get-together?
- Keep your tasks as mobile as possible. Even though a smartphone is an expense, it's invaluable being able to fire off a quick email while waiting for the bus, or modifying my grocery order on your lunch break. If you're waiting for a friend, you can get some good knitting/doodling/brainstorming in during that five minutes - but only if you have the tools at hand.
- Your social life needs to meet you half way. The hardest part of keeping up a social life when you're busy is the time lost getting TO where they are to hang out and then back from it. Friends need to be 'scheduled' just like everything else. It's awkward at first... especially if your friends are the type who just want you to come over and "hang out", but if you have goals to achieve that might not be feasible. Reduce travel as much as possible and consolidate "social time" alongside other things. Can you grab a quick coffee after class? Can you do lunch on your way to the grocery store? Working out? Make that a social thing and do it with a friend. Need to get some new shoes? Make that a social outing. Put a limit on the time you're socializing. It's a total drag only being able to see your friends for an hour or two, but using limits and keeping everything in balance makes sure you get to see them at all!
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How do you pursue a passion in your 'spare time'? I haven't had any 'spare time' since high school.
You haven't had "spare time" since high school, and yet you find yourself on a social network.....? I'm joking of course, I use the words "spare time" almost ironically because even in high school I was loaded up with different obligations and scarcely had time to myself. But your spare time is greater than 0:00 - I guarantee it - and if you think it isn't, that's more a factor of prioritizing your time effectively than 'spare time' not existing.
The biggest secret of time management is that 'spare time' needs to be *made*.
It's possible that your moments of spare time are highly fragmented througout your day, and you can't always do exactly what you want when you have a spare five minutes.
If your passion is, say, figure skating, you're not going to be able to do much towards it when your day job is lifting boxes in a warehouse. It takes a lot of time to get down to the rink, lace up, warm up, skate, cool down and change and get back to whatever you were doing before. But how else can that passion manifest? Can you listen to podcasts about figure skating on your drive to work? Can you read figure skating blogs on your phone during your coffee break? Can you tumblr a figure skating photo in the five minutes before bed?
And when it comes to actually getting down to the rink.... how early can you wake up?
If it really is your passion - really truly - and you still can't find ANY spare time to practice for it, you do need to take a hard look at what IS filling your day. Is figure skating your passion... more than video games? More than being on the PTA? More than the ten minutes you spend waiting for a latte at Starbucks?
Book Response: The Art of Non Conformity
This is the first of what I hope to be many "book responses". I believe reading books is a significant component of success, and when I read a book I like, I'd like to tell you about it. I don't want to call it a "book review" because I won't tell you about books I didn't like...
Anyway, here is the first.
The Art of Non-Conformity: Set Your Own Rules, Live the Life You Want, and Change the World**
by Chris Guillebeau, 2010
** This is an affiliate link. I bought this book on my own, but if you click this link and end up buying it, I get a portion of the sale as a referral.
WHEN to read this book:
- When you're feeling down about your career options and wondering 'is this all there is to life?'
- When you're getting ready to make a big, daring decision and need a pep-talk
SUMMARY:
"You don't have to live your life the way other people expect you to..." --Chris Guillebeau - the Art of Non Conformity p. 14
At 163pp, The Art of Non Conformity is concise and to-the-point, there's hardly any fluff.
It's divided into three parts:
- The Remarkable Life (seeking happiness, and why you should look to alternative paths)
- Reclaiming Work (Why the goal is finding the right work instead of finding your way OUT of work, evaluating higher education and personal finance)
- Convergence (seeking balance and leaving behind a legacy.)
WHAT you'll get out of it:
I first read the Art of Non Conformity last year shortly after its release. I had become an avid reader of Chris' excellent blog and I knew the book would be worthwhile. I even stopped in on his unconventional book tour when it came through Vancouver!
Earlier, I had read the "4 hour workweek", which was filled with daring, interesting ideas... but it left a bad taste in my mouth. The Art of Non Conformity is the antidote. It is also filled with challenging ideas about living a different type of life than what is expected of you, but instead of 4HWW's selfish, borderline-sneaky tactics, Chris advocates generosity and hard work as the path to happiness.
The book is tremendously inspirational. Chris himself has lead a remarkable life so far (his goal is to visit every single country by the time he's 35) but he also brings in stories of others as case studies which really helps to balance out the content. The beginning of the book has your standard life-planning stuff (including a version of the Ideal Day and Bucket list... nothing earth-shattering for people like me who read a lot of similar books) but Chris' focus on generosity and working on your legacy NOW rather than later is what truly sets this book apart.
"In the end, it's not all about you. Most of us want a life that leaves a positive impact on others." -- Chris Guillebeau, The Art of Non Conformity p. 37
The core premise of the book is that society has rules that aim to dictate what we can and cannot do with our lives, and how we should try to pursue happiness. There isn't always a good reason for these rules... the world changes quickly but the cultural norms never seem to get updated. Chris lays out some good reasons to walk a different path, and also has some solid advice for dealing with people and systems that often stand in the way.
"Unreasonable, unrealistic and imprctical are all words used to margianalize a person or idea that fails to conform with conventionally expected standards." -- Chris Guillebeau - the Art of Non Conformity - p. 145
What I like best about the book is that Chris isn't crazy. A lot of other books that have similar premises read like a bad sales pitch. "Change your life! Throw out the rules! You're an IDIOT if you don't!" Chris' arguments are calm and downright rational. He challenges your existing thought patterns in a way that really does make you pause and consider.
Where the book falls down:
Chris is someone who has lived an amazing life but he seems to be hard-wired to have a higher risk-tolerance than most people. He does a lot to alleviate traditional fears, but Chris hasn't walked a traditional path since he left high school (early). So, it's hard for someone like me who is deeply entrenched in a traditional life-path to even dream of such a drastic alternative. Pamela Slim's book "Escape from Cubicle Nation"** approaches the same idea from the other side, but I always felt her book didn't quite go far enough. For that reason if you're a born and bred traditionalist looking to break thought patterns, it's useful to read both the Art of Non Conformity and Escape from Cubicle Nation, they present different perspectives on similar problems.
The Art of Non Conformity is highly actionable and tactical, but it won't give you specific tips and resources. I point this out because a lot of people do prefer to have books with very specific scripts for action, but the way the book is formatted gives it a much broader application, and I like that.
BOTTOM LINE
This book is easy to recommend. A lot of dreams get defeated early on and Chris makes a very strong case for stopping to ask yourself why and looking for other paths than the straight-line option.
Please let me know what you think of my first-ever book response! I'm hoping to write more and mix them in with the regular type of posts because I've read a LOT of books and I often find them quite helpful.
Slogging
It's hard to admit failure.
But I must be honest with you, dear readers, I've been having a tough couple of months.
It's been a long downward spiral that brought me to this place. It's not the worst it's ever been, but it's obvious that it's doing damage to my life and if I don't make some kind of drastic intervention, I'm going to continue spiraling out of control. I can just feel time draining away from me.
I haven't felt this low in many years.
Everything ahead of me feels so daunting. I only have major, life-altering, long-term projects to work on. Every task I need to do calls up The Resistance. Fear of Success, as weird as it sounds, has always been one of my worst enemies. I can feel myself getting closer to some of these major breakthrough goals, but the higher I get up the mountain, the steeper the climb becomes. Instead of working on the things that used to bring me joy, I find myself basking in the soft glow of the computer screen and amusing myself to death.
I *have* to keep slogging forward, slowly, diligently, with persistence until
a) External forces cause a significant disruption
b) Slowly increasing metrics hit some level that prompts action
c) Some mysterious opportunity comes by.
I believe it's this ill-defined endpoint that's resulting in the loss of motivation. The way forward has cleared up, more or less, but the trigger point for change, the goal, depends on a lot of external factors. I don't have a deadline. I don't have a target. All I can do is continue to slog and "eventually" it will be enough. Hopefully.
Starting Over
I need to be more diligent about my foundation tasks. When I'm doing poorly at maintaining my chores and exercise, everything else starts to crumble. There aren't enough individual tasks to cross off to keep myself engaged enough in the list, so I made a new "perma list" of work I need to tackle every day.
I'm breaking out the Timer again for chores. I'm not under time pressure, which has kept me from using it, but I need it as a motivator.
I've updated my list binder with four key categories of tasks that I'm going to focus on and switch between: two major, two minor. They're all related to the same end goal vision, though. One is just a list of crappy "life"-related tasks (taxes, fixing things, etc.).
Increasing visibility of tasks and success
I'm posting the list in the hall right where I come in from work. It's tacky and kind of space-consuming, sure, but I need something to get my attention right when I come in.
I'm going to use stickers on a calendar to track successful completion of tasks. I know that makes it sound like I'm five years old, but I frickin' LOVE stickers! Maybe I am five years old.
I'm also trying to think up a good "reward" for myself. Maybe a weekly "success night out"? I've been staying in on Fridays and it's been making me lonely. A good end to the week will set me up for the weekend, and would make me feel like there is actually a division between those two phases, instead of the continuation of the same "one tough slog".
Seeking Inspiration
The Slog has given me an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. If I'm going to get moving, I need some inspiration. Since I haven't stumbled across anyting new that I really want to read, I'll be re-reading some books that really got me fired up earlier this year (or was it last year?): Linchpin, The Art of Non Conformity, Crush It!, Change by Design, Switch and the War of Art are all on my list. Maybe I'll post mini book-reviews for you all?
Establishing Boundaries
I've identified some new time traps. It's my own fault for letting them take so much from me, but it's time to name these villains for what they are and remind myself what's really important. I'm sticking a bright red "NO REDDIT" sign on my computer, and a similar gentle reminder on my TV. It's so easy to placate fear with the constantly-available flow of things that are mildly interesting.
External Forces
I'm worried these steps won't be enough. I feel like I still need some kind of person or force who will kick my ass and keep me accountable.
I have an inspiration board but it's not really working as intended. Oh well. When I'm deep in a depression phase, it's hard for me to muster this voice for myself, so I'm just going to leave this here for myself:
"NOTHING WORTH HAVING IN THIS WORLD COMES EASILY, YOU HAVE TO FIGHT FOR IT AND KEEP FIGHTING! Are you just gonna roll over and let the challenge defeat you, huh? Are you that easily pushed over?? COME ON!"
FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT MY FRIENDS
Ratcheting
It occurs to me that as a person with a high need for achievement, the most valuable type of achievements (to me) are the ones that "ratchet".
I was so excited when I finally got my degree in Engineering because I felt that I finally had something that no-one would be able to take away from me. No matter where I would go from that point forward, I would always be someone who held a degree in engineering.
I felt the same way when I finished my first book. I would never go back to being a person who had never published anything. I'd never again be someone who had never finished a significant self-driven project.
Over the past few months I've been working at completing my Professional Engineering application. I will need to work to maintain my status as a professional engineer for the rest of my life, but still... once I've got it, I've got it. It's a ratchet goal.
What ratchet goals are you striving for right now?
Creativity Under The Gun
There's an old saying:
"Pressure makes diamonds"
(My friend has modified this saying:
"... but it also makes garbage more compact.")
The last few weeks have been really scary for me. Uncertainty at work has driven my anxiety into overdrive. To be honest, in that state of mind, it's very difficult to get anything done. When what I'm worried about is so intense, it's almost impossible to keep my brain focused on anything but the most urgent of tasks. My brain keeps cycling back to the big impending problem, which was not something I could do much about!
I'm always driven by action, I need something to DO. Unless I'm DOING SOMETHING about a problem, it's very hard for me to feel better. My brain was constantly circling the problem, hunting for some action, ANY ACTION I could take that would fix the problem.
Eventually the cloud lifted and it looks like I escaped disaster...... for now.
But then I realized:
Hey.... there were some okay ideas in those panic attacks! Maybe I should take some of these actions anyway.
The best ideas I came up with were around the concept of 'Taking Inventory'. I'll be tackling some of these tasks in the upcoming weeks:
Taking Inventory
It's good to do a self-check every once in awhile. It's important to just do your best and keep moving forward, but every once in awhile it's good practice to stop and benchmark yourself. In particular, these are the things I'll be taking inventory of:
- Contacts: Who do I know? Where have those people ended up? What are the up to recently? It's time to brush off the rolodex and start scheduling some coffees
- Ideas: I have a LOT of ideas that I have generated in the past but didn't have time to act on. Now it's reversed. Time pressure has let up a bit, but I'm feeling uninspired. This is the time to data-mine some past inspiration
- Food: As weird as it sounds, lately I've been poking around my cupboards and realizing that I'm either out of one product or way overstocked on another. I can't remember the ingredients I do or do not have, and that's making it tough to "whip up a meal" when I don't have a lot of time. Time to look through my staple foods and figure out what's in abundance and what's lacking.
- Clutter: I've done an OK job reducing clutter in certain areas, but there's still a bit of ways to go. I've lost track of what needs to be sold and what needs to be fixed. I had an idea that I should just gather and put all the for-sale-or-broken things on the kitchen table and keep taking care of them until they're all gone.
Is inducing a panic state a recommended strategy?
NO.
As I mentioned, during this scary time I was not the most productive. This is about getting the good out of the bad. It's during the times of trial that fundamental truths are revealed to us: what matters the most, how we really feel, where allegiances lie and what urgently needs fixing.
So get that done!
Oh, Grow Up.
Recently, someone asked me what the difference is between being an adolescent and an adult.
I just had a birthday on June 27th. I'm twenty-seven now. I don't really feel like a "grown-up", even though I'm a married Mechanical Engineer with a mortgage. My mid-thirties friends assure me that they don't feel "grown-up" either. Neither do my mid-forties friends. Even my mother says she doesn't feel like a grown-up (she just turned fifty-seven, also in June.)
So it's reasonable to discern, then, that "feeling fully and completely like a grown-up" isn't a state I'm likely to ever grow into. Or, maybe it's just the lucky ones who never feel that way.
Still, there needs to be some difference between an adolescent and an adult. Obviously, you can tell when you meet someone where they are at on this spectrum. It has little to do with age. A sixteen year old can become a father and hold down a full-time job as a manager. A thirty year old can still live with their parents and work part-time at a cafe. Because I went to engineering school, most of my friends lead very 'adult' lives, but I do encounter many people my age that seem to be stubbornly clinging to adolescence.
So, coming back to the original question: how does one define the boundary between adolescent and adult? I think for me, the definition comes down to three things:
- Career.
- Responsibility.
- Dealing with Serious Things.
CAREER
Now, by 'career' I don't mean that you wear a suit and tie and have a job-job in an office. Career, to me, means purpose: you have a clear (or clearish) vision of what you want to do with the rest of your life, and the majority of your time is spent actively pursuing it. By this definition, a person who may not even be employed but is actively, fervently pursuing success in a particular field has a 'career'. Of course, our career vision becomes more clear over time, and we may change direction, but as long as we're striding confidently SOMEWHERE as opposed to drifting from one meaningless job to another, we have a 'career'.
RESPONSIBILITY
Both in the having and the taking, responsibility is a major divider between an adolescent and an adult. Living on your own and paying your own rent. Taking accountability for your own failures. Owning a dog, or having a child. It means being present and accountable: without YOU it would fall apart.
DEALING WITH SERIOUS THINGS
A major facet of adulthood is that a considerable portion of your time is spent just dealing with serious things. Things that your parents used to do for you. Boring, painful "ugh it's just gotta get done" things. Taxes, paying bills, repairing things around the house, sorting out insurance, laundry, scheduling your own dentist appointments, investments... "serious things" can also mean injury, disease or death. I guess the best way to define it would be "dealing with things that have real-world, severe consequences." If a care-taker is still doing these things for you, it's a major piece of adulthood you still lack.
One may not have all three of these aspects prominently in their lives, but these are the three things that, for me, divide the adolescents from the adults.
Now...Is "adulthood" the right thing?
Is adulthood something that we SHOULD be pursuing as quickly as possible?
Perhaps, perhaps not. I'm not sure the early-adults are "right", just as much as I'm not sure the late-adults are "wrong". Sometimes I regret becoming so serious so soon. I've always been very responsible and driven, and so I marched lock-step into adulthood without really considering the alternatives. These are just things that I feel define "adulthood", not necessarily the way life should to be lived.
Charging your Adolescent Batteries
Recently, I've been faced with a stack of some very serious, very adult things. It's nothing bad... just boring "ugh it needs to just be DONE sort of things". I've been putting it off.
Last week, for my birthday, I took the week off of work. I didn't go anywhere, and I didn't really have anything concrete that I wanted to accomplish, I just wanted to.....not work.
And oh, boy did I ever NOT work! I woke up when I wanted, wore what I wanted, went where I wanted just 'cause I wanted to. My chores languished, my diet languished, and my work certainly didn't get worked on. I'm proud to say the vacation wasn't wasted, though... I threw myself into my Big Scary Writing Project. I finished chapters 3 and 4, which completes "book one" of the story. I didn't keep count, but I estimate that in this week I slammed down about sixty pages of thumbs! It was awesome.
What I realized at the end of the week is that I was basically acting like an adolescent again! You'd think that after this exhilarating taste of adolescence, I'd never want to go back to adulthood. But, here I am at work on a Monday morning and I'm amazed at how READY I feel to tackle some more "adult" responsibilities! By not being so serious, I got rid of a LOT of stress. So, I guess that's the one learning from this rambling post.
Sometimes you need to un-grow-up to tackle grown-up things
Focus and Loneliness
Quick update on my attempt to balance intense focus with 1-hour of GTD: hasn't been really working so far. I've been sick though... stay tuned.
Lately, instead of my usual running-around-like-crazy GTD, I've been trying to focus all of my frantic energy into one big, massive, scary project. The goal here is to accomplish something major and hopefully achieve a breakthrough/level up in skill level.
One major side effect of the focus is loneliness. In order to to make progress on this project, I've noticed that I need to sequester myself every day for significant periods of time. Unlike other forms of GTD, it doesn't lend itself well to being done "in between" other tasks - in between social outings with friends for example. Focusing like this is like meditation or REM sleep: it's something I have to sink into and concentrate on for hours, it's not something I can tackle in 15-minute increments.
It also doesn't lend itself well to regular reporting. Not only is the project somewhat "secret" (because I may never finish/follow through and it may be years before I have anything substantial to 'announce'), but I have nothing to say, nothing to share. The project has consumed my life and displaced any interesting activities/ mini-projects I may have otherwise done.
This is very different from my usual way of doing things. I've cut back on comic-shows significantly. The energy I've diverted into this project has prevented me from releasing other new products. I quite literally have nothing significant to talk about on twitter, facebook or my comic blog.
I wonder whether my readership has even noticed this, as I believe that in the culture of media-bombardment that the internet has become it is quite difficult to notice a 'missing' or reduced voice. I think that even if they have noticed, my readership would probably forgive the temporary reprieve. I have one of the most wonderful, understanding and forgiving readerships in webcomic-dom and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise This project is worth it and if I ever emerge with something worth sharing on the other side it will be interesting to say the least. That isn't what worries me.
What worries me is how much I miss the back-chatter. It's lonely!
Being the fiercely-introverted weirdo that I am, I'm actually quite surprised by this turn of events. My 'dream vacation' is a quiet cabin on a lake where there is nobody for miles and I can do whatever I want... reading, writing, drawing, painting... so to discover that I'm actually LONELY when focusing on writing is shocking to me.
I'm not really sure what to do about it yet. It could be something that I just need to power through - the project is finite, after all. Long, but finite. Perhaps it's just a different temperature of water and I'm still trying to acclimate.
Or perhaps I could just start tweeting about things that are completely inane and random... #unfollow
At the end of the day, I'll be fine. I still have my husband and my coworkers. I live in a huge bustling city and my friends are a text-message away. It's the emotional journey - the battle being fought between my brain and my pen - that I must face alone. It's the only way to do it, and I MUST do it.